Just need some support....

[Beccag89]

I've actually never wrote my own post on here before but I feel like now might be a good time. I've made a lot of strides the past couple years to work on myself and I'm proud. But the last couple weeks I've been in a pit. I'm working on past events in therapy that are unresolved and it's bringing up horrible memories. I was in a emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically abusive relationship for 5 years. It's been almost 3 years since I broke up with him and I still cannot get myself to date again. I think it's fear of opening up to someone and then hurting me. I hate that I feel inadequate, worthless, unworthy, etc because of him. Even though he's gone he still has control. So I guess I'm just venting and just want some support. Thanks for taking the time to read. Hope you all have a great day.

[Syllabus18]

Hello Becca I just finish reading what you've written about your boyfriend and the situation that you've been through I must say you are a very tough cookie to have been taking a licking and kept on going reward yourself applaud yourself you've made it past the stage in life that most women end up staying in for much longer than they should and some only leave after horrific occurrences has occurred I commend you I applaud you and I look up to you for your courage.

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hi bec,for somone whos never wrote a blog before you've dun a marveless

job of your first one,so becc.looking forward to more from you from me and

the other 5 houndred or so wecombe by peek

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I've been there. I left my abusive husband 14 yrs ago. It gets better. Beware that the patterns repeat and we are easy prey for them. I just started dating and made a promise to call it off at the first sign of anything negative. I set very high boundaries and stuck with them. I did remarry about a year later and when things get aggressive at all I have stopped it in its tracks and put the boundaries in place. I became strong and assertive. It gets better.

[Oneseedatatime]

Hi Beccag89!

God works things in mysterious ways....I too experienced emotional, mental, verbal, and the start of physical abuse by my now ex-fiancé whom I was in a relationship with for 5 years until last year. It's been a year, no I have not dated. He made me question my sanity, my worth, my beauty inside and out, my abilities as a professional woman who has accomplished much before him (why he dated me to begin with), the reality of starting all over again in the relationship world, and then some. I started to Google what I experienced and found that I was one of too many at the hands of a Narcissist.

It hurt so much to learn about what happened to me, what I fell prey to, what I allowed, and how I did not walk away when all the signs were there as I just prayed and wished he would change for the better. As time went on I kept learning more and more about it though because I knew it was wrong and not my fault. As I discovered his patterns are HIS problems, I prayed and thanked God for freeing me from what I once so desperately wanted and begged God to keep together! In 11 days it will be a year that God freed me from that bondage, allowed me to come across the right information, Godly counsel, and faith in Him/His plans that are good for me. I am so proud of you for working on YOU! You are worthy, you are a child of God, you are worth rubies to the right man, a good man! You have learned and will continue to learn more to prepare and position you for God's goodness and for you to be a blessing to others using your experiences that God will not waste. He no longer has control over you, that is Satan's lies to keep you down! You are in control over you! You have no need to "perfect" you, you just need to learn about his illness so that you can set yourself free and live a full and abundant life. I am here for you, can share the resources that helped me, and I trust and believe that you will love yourself again.