if tables were turned

[hlangdon]

would you give someone with anxiety and depression tough love? Only reason I'm asking is because someone told me all I needed was tough love. Now when I try seeing how things are or even ask her a question they wont respond back to me. I have a feeling they are mad at me and posted to friends who didn't know i have anxiety know what was going on and that if someone was mad at me to please remove me from thier friend list. But yet they havent removed me. Wondering if I should remove them

[2manypets]

I would definitely remove them unless they are the only people you have as a support system. I probably would even if they were my only support system so I could meet some people who are more compassionate.

[hlangdon in reply to 2manypets]

thank you 2manypets. I hate to do it since thier spouse is deployed overseas and have 2 kids. I don't want to make excuses for them

[kenster1]

ive tried tough love with my brother and it never worked.i think it depends on the person and there issues.to me this sounds more like ignorance towards you rather than tough love.

[hlangdon in reply to kenster1]

thank you kenster1. never thought of them having ignorance towards me

[TriggerPoint]

REMOVE THEM...... !~* I Am So Sorry That Happened To You. People Who Don't Have Anxiety Disorders Can't Understand. They Get Frustrated. But To Tell You You Need "Tough Love" [ a basic snap out of it attitude ] "IS NOT" Your Friend & Most Likely Never Really Was. Anyone Who Basically Blows You Off Is SELFISH !* If They Can't Seem To Recognize You As Who You Are Because You Don't Fit Into THEIR Criteria ? That Is SELF CENTERED ! Plus It's Kinda CRUEL !*

BUT ! Don't Let Them Rent Space In Your Mind or/ Slow Your Day. Because "THEY" Have A Far Worse Problem Than You Do.....

Peace, Love, & Prayers~*

[RAYOFHOPE88]

Providing a person who is suffering with resources and supporting them is tough love. Being critical and telling a person to shake it off is judgemental. I'd say that anyone who doesn't help you mentally should be removed.

[Stilltrying_ in reply to RAYOFHOPE88]

Wow, that is such a great response. That has helped me evaluate what is happening in my life. So difficult when we have depression. I am more or less told not to behave like this or I won't be wanted. It is very tough and difficult to decide. My friend said I didn't have sufficient "emotional regulation" but I still don't know what is enough and what is not enough. I am pretty controlled and keep most if not everything to myself. Just occasionally I feel a bit "needy" and things become difficult. I still don't know how to handle this but it worries me that my friends just want me to be different and more or less hide who I am because it is too difficult for them!!!

[RAYOFHOPE88 in reply to Stilltrying_]

It's hard dealing with people who are not understanding. Please don't try to change who you are for acceptance. You'll only end up hurt in the end because you silence your authentic self. True friends will eventually grow to love you for who you are. Try not to take what your friend says personally because he/she can not relate. Make the decision that works for you ☺.

[Hidden]

I don’t think I’m capable of tough love. I’m more with the gentle approach. That’s how my mother always helped me, so I think that’s how I would handle others. But I’m also not well myself, so maybe that isn’t the right way to go about it.

Also, I’m sorry that someone you cared about told you that. People that don’t suffer with this illness do not understand. I have an older sister who always tells me to “suck it up”, but if only it were that simple.... We are all here for you. Xoxoxo

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

hi mermaid,they were 7 of us 3 brothers and 4 sisters ,they were allways to busy with life to get to involved,with others its not the wernt feeling sorry for you I knew they still loved

me and would be first to protect me

[hlangdon]

thank you everyone for the advice. It stinks that I have to remove this person now that she doesnt care anymore how they treat people.

[hypercat54]

Well if all that was required to cure depression and anxiety was tough love none of us would suffer from it! This is a pile of crock. Have you sought any medical help yet? If not then it might be a good idea.

Be very careful whom you talk to about your issues and confine it to trusted family/friends. I would definitely block any toxic people from fb and your life generally. x

[pink318]

Hi- I have a sister who is suffering from health anxiety and my heart is breaking to know that someone I loved is experiencing this. She lost weight and she is bothered whenever someone noticed it. I told her try not to dwell in their negative comments.

I’m sorry you are having a tough time, whatever you will decide, I pray it will give you peace and you will feel better soon. Please keep us posted, God bless.

[hlangdon]

i just took them off facebook today. I even took thier spouse off and one other person who knows them also. I feel a little better now