Losing it.

[Racheezy]

I graduated from my university back in May. These past few months with my parents has been living hell. I’ve been called everything from lazy to a loser. It really sucks since I’ve been trying to deal w my anxiety and depression on top of trying to make money.

I don’t have a license since my parents never let me drive. Apparently it’s something that I simply can’t do. Now I’m getting ultimatums and requisitions. My dad is pressuring me to get a car every single day. I just started working a new job three weeks ago. Plus, I have student loans and bills to pay off. It’s getting to a point where I feel like I’m losing my mind.

Just now, he was talking about my weight. I had really bad food poisoning and he started talking about my size. I’m very small for my age and I’m well aware. However, I’m not unhealthy and I’ve tried to gain weight my whole life. Things just don’t work for me. I studied nutrition so I know I’m not unhealthy. I’m just small. Since I got sick, that’s all he talks about. I’m so tired of his negative energy. It brings me down so bad. He tells me something everyday. My friends think that I possibly got sick from the stress and not the food. I want to move out so bad but can’t afford to. I don’t know how much longer I can take.

This New Years I spent it alone and honestly contemplated just ending my life before they got home. I cleaned my room, organized everything and just laid on my bed thinking how great it would be to just finish things off. I hate everything about my life.

[VT2CA]

I’m so sorry you’re going through all of that. I would like to say congratulations on graduating. That’s a huge accomplishment and something to be very proud of. You definitely have a future to look forward to even though right now it’s very difficult to picture.

[Redfox9]

So sorry you're going through this, try to avoid your parents. Try to keep yourself busy the whole day. All the best for your future.

[Dancergirl2020]

Congratulations on your accomplishment!

It definitely sounds like your parents are contributing to the way you feel. Surrounding yourself with supportive, understanding people could help shoulder some of that burden you carry.

Best wishes on your new life journey.

[Amandabridge]

Congratulations on graduating.

Why don’t you start to make goals for yourself. Try and save as much as you can towards a deposit. When things get to much go out for a run or a walk, u will always feel better when ur around nature.

Try and be out as much as u can. Maybe do some volunteer work for youth or your community. That way u can surround yourself with more positive attitudes, whilst working towards ur goal. U may not be able to change your dads negativity , but u can change the way u take it on board. Have u tried to talk to them? Maybe ur dad doesn’t realise how badly this effecting u

Take care

[hypercat54]

Hi I wonder if the way your parents are treating you is their version of love? Maybe it's they only way they can show that they care about you. Don't dismiss this out of hand please as I have experienced this myself with my mother. I spent my childhood and teen years being slagged off and criticised. When I asked my mother about it many years later she said she was just trying to help me 'pull myself together'. That was the only way she knew to show love. Having said that I cleared off many miles away at 18!

I agree with the others especially making goals for yourself. This will make you feel more in control and stronger inside. If your dad wants you to drive why not suggest he teach you? Tell him you can't afford lessons and he would be really be helping you out. He will either jump at the chance or run a mile

Remember you are very young yet and it's not worth jeopardising your future for a temporary situation. And this is just temporary when you have your whole life ahead of you. x