Can’t believe I’m alive

[cinnamonapple89]

Having a very existential moment, kinda freaking out. Feel very alone and hopeless. Been feeling this way for a while and i think it’s catching up to me. All I do is anticipate death. All I do is sit around sad and have this social anxiety and social exhaustion that causes me to just do nothing and be alone. I can’t do this anymore, but I can’t not do this anymore...if that makes sense. I don’t know what else to do. I even feel abandoned by my therapist who went on maternity leave at least 5 months ago, reached out to say she was moving practices and hasn’t reached out since. That is the only person that was “current” on my issues. Now I feel like I have to start all over and idk where to start. I just wish someone could find a new therapist for me. I feel like I can’t do anything. I get on myself and call it me being lazy but it’s not, I physically can’t get up to do it

[Hidden]

I know exactly what you’re saying. I have these same issues, & I can tell you’re really going through it right now. I just want you to know you’re not alone in feeling this way.

Do you have anyone that can help you make an appointment with another therapist? I know that it’s hard doing things by yourself. Maybe a friend or family member that you trust? I have a mother that tends to do things for me when I can’t manage to do it for myself. It’s not lazy, it’s this disease. Stay strong. I am wishing you peace & strength to get through this. Xoxoxoxo

[Tikirob]

You are definitely not being lazy. It takes so much energy for your mind to reflect on what you are going through. And these anxious thoughts you have are draining you emotionally and physically and now your one life line to some normalcy has abandoned you, that’s awful and I am sorry this is happening to you.

Yet you are treading water and mentally staying afloat, you and are working harder than most people can understand. I commend you for staying with it and sharing your feelings about it here, If you can take a positive from it then consider the fact that you came to a personal understanding about your condition.

If you feel too bad to get up and do self care or

get some help then there is no shame in calling for help. Anxiety and depression are medical issues as much as they are mental ones. But if you need some simple encouragement feel free to respond to this and I will do my best to encourage you. I have experienced lethargy do to mental illness myself. It takes a long time to break through that worry cycle. If you can try to just get up once in a while to look out the front window. If you go to the bathroom try to delay yourself from going back to bed. If you have a radio put it on to keep you company. Try to keep a book near your bed and read it to distract yourself. It’s going to take lots of tricking yourself to get up. But little by little you will find energy. Also remember lying down all the time is not healthy, that motivates me because my worry even starts to tell me to get up haha.

[cinnamonapple89 in reply to Tikirob]

Thank you so much. You are so appreciated for this post

[Tikirob in reply to cinnamonapple89]

No problem! Thanks!

[pink83737]

Social anxiety is the worst! I know how you feel. Hang in there, it will get better ❤️