Uggh back to inpatient

[Quest4peace]

Well, here I am hanging on , again back at the ER at the insistence of my therapist and girlfriend. I almost threw in the towel after this 2nd crisis in a year.

But I made it here. Now the horrendous challenge of what to tell my two beloved children who are both teens. They were so happy for me when I got a recent and promising job opportunity and now will be so saddened to hear of where I’m at. I’m devastated , have lost all hope , and am at a crushingly low point.

I’m so ashamed , have no self worth , and basically am just hanging on for my kids. But I feel like more of a burden to them ,and everyone else , that loves or cares about me. I wish I could get out from under this very dark cloud. I’m so grateful to have found this space and community. I wish for everyone here that’s struggling , to have peace and better health ahead.

[Hidden]

I can't even count the number of mornings that I have seen only because I would never hurt my son. I will drag myself through the dark no matter what so I can be there if he needs me.

He knows what I deal with. He is 27 and I am honest with him he also knows when I can't do it for me...I do it for him.

I am not worthless because I will shoulder the burden so he doesn't have to. You are not worthless if you are doing the same.

When I am in doubt of tomorrow, I look at his picture and promise to be there.

It doesn't matter why you fight on. It only matters that you do.

Sir, I will see tomorrow. Always.

[Quest4peace in reply to Hidden]

Those words truly hit home and resonate so deeply. I admire you for Your strength and sound reason despite what you go through, I hope I can get through this and always be there in the same way. Peace to you.

[Hidden in reply to Quest4peace]

You will get through it. It's what good parents do.

And your children care about you. They will be there for you...just as you are for them.

It is not your job to be strong all the time. It IS your job to be there all the time.

[Quest4peace in reply to Hidden]

Truer words can’t be spoken. Thanks for that.

[Hidden in reply to Quest4peace]

Take care of yourself...take care of your children.

You matter.

[Quest4peace in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. As do you . I’m glad to have ‘met’ you and am grateful

[Hidden in reply to Quest4peace]

I have been where you are. I have been admitted into the ER 3 times when I hit my wall.

Today you need help.

In the future I may need yours.

Please be there. For your children and for me.

[Quest4peace in reply to Hidden]

I’m Praying for the strength , Domenic. And I pray for you too. And everyone else here that is battling. . Consider me a friend that will always be there, as long as I stay in this fight. And I need to. Thank you for being there today in one of my darkest days.

[Quest4peace]

When was your last time as an inpatient ? This forum helps to get things off my chest. I’m very grateful they have a bed for me on the psych ward after only 1 day in ER. Typically it can be a one to two week wait in the ER before a bed is available.