Threw the dark,Comes a twinkle of light like a star.

[Ncrazy]

Today i went to my specailist on ptsd and anxiety.I yell i scream about the scars on dysfunctional ghetto contraction camp i saw and witness experience.problem after problem.The chaos the drama if its not finacail its mental if its not its random unpredictable sadistic evil circumstances or situation.

I left his office with a glimmer of hope and a glimmer of my sarcastic funny personality.I felt close to my self.wanting to get off of disgracful public doll,the dream of a finacail rewarding career. Remembering i want the normal holiday dinners the exotic vacation the family vacation.More children the barbcues.i dont will not except this way i feel.

[fauxartist]

I am having a hard time reading your post and understanding what your trying to say metaphorically.....but if I am understanding it.....you are saying that after your therapy session you have felt helped and have a better outlook looking forward to your holidays. I hope I got that right....all my best to you.

[Ncrazy in reply to fauxartist]

Sorry alot people say i suck at grammer to many run on sentence extra anxiety has alot of friends.lol intrusive thoughts a little A D D.ect

[fauxartist in reply to Ncrazy]

I cannot spell my way out of a paper bag....so the powers that be invented 'MS WORD'...and all my troubles with spelling and grammar are solved....well most anyway's.... and Shakespeare..... made up his own words and grammar...yeah really. I made up my own word for how I feel most of the time...'happisher'.....

So don't worry about trivial critiques from someone who is just trying to poke holes in your creativity....celebrate your writing....

[Ncrazy in reply to fauxartist]

Thanks it sucks what anxiety really can do.we all should be enjoying our lives family fued holidays dinners and romantic relationships exotic vacation personal achievements career reaching fullest potential etc.

[fauxartist in reply to Ncrazy]

You still can do that..... write.... it takes you places in you mind where no one else has been but you.... I love to write... but have resorted to art therapy for a while till my home life settles down more and I have the peace and quiet to write. It's all good.... I did something else year before last too that I had great fun doing. I made my own book. I got these beautiful antique botanical prints, etc., and bought a book with blank pages and a beautiful cover. I collogued and wrote descriptions of herbals and their uses, then also wrote some of my favorite recipes using herbs, and some fruits and veggies.... it was really rewarding. I can see that as a book of prose done that way too.

[Ncrazy in reply to fauxartist]

You sound like a wican...mother and earth bless it be..

[fauxartist in reply to Ncrazy]

I'm an authentic ole hippy from back in the day....and my nick name was 'earth mama' because I gardened a lot and am an herbalist which many in Wicca also do....but no. I don't believe in organized religion.

[aaronm]

When you refer to the dysfunctional ghetto concentration camp are you referring to an inner city neighborhood of high crime and poverty? If so I can empathize but not from personal experience. I worked in the inner city of Chicago for years in law enforcement. Its a difficult situation to get out of.