Depressed : Tonight I just wanna end it... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Depressed

Cat26538
Cat26538
12 Replies

Tonight I just wanna end it all. I don’t wanna be on this earth anymore. I feel so alone and unwanted

12 Replies
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comb

You are not alone! It sounds like you're having a difficult time, but know this intensity will pass. Call 911 if you feel like your are a danger to yourself. Call a hotline if you need to talk to someone qualified to get you through this!

tel:1-800-273-8255

And know that we are here for you! I know how this feels.

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Iloveart7
Iloveart7
in reply to comb

Or text 741741 for suicide text line

3 likes
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IheartDogs

Your feelings are so real and they matter just as you matter. You're having an unbearably tough day, week, month but please know we all understand the pain you're feeling so you're not alone there. If you're feeling like you want to hurt yourself, call the hotline or text them. Tomorrow is a new day, another opportunity to feel a little different than today. Please let us know how you're doing. We love you ❤️

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Cat26538

I almost died Thanksgiving night. I od on alcohol.

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horizonwatch

Hi Cat - I'm sorry to hear of all you've been through. You are a worthy person and worthy of love and happiness. You deserve to be around people who make you feel loved and valued -- give your time to people who do make you feel accepted, loved and valued. Get rid of anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself, makes you feel invalidated and inferior. Those are TOXIC people and it is imperative that you get them out of your life! Being around toxic people I think is a huge reason why you're feeling this way. Check out "narcissistic abuse" on Youtube, lots of videos about it on there. It really opened my eyes. You are worthy and deserving of love and happiness. There is much you can give and to help other people, don't let that go to waste! Since you are adopted, you could help kids in the foster system, perhaps be a mentor or other volunteering to that affect. There are so many hurting people in need -- you could be a huge blessing to them since you've been there too! Doing this and also pursuing the things you enjoy doing, and GET RID OF THE TOXIC PEOPLE will make you feel a MILLION times better. You deserve happiness!

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Cat26538

Thanks for your kind words. However I don’t feel loved or accepted by anyone in my life. I’m completely surrounded by toxic people

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horizonwatch

That's exactly what I mean -- you need to get away from the toxic people in your life. It will take time, but you need to start meeting new people and finding people who accept you for who you are and make you feel good about yourself. Even if they are family -- you need to either go no contact or minimal contact. Start pursuing things you enjoy doing and meeting new people and GET RID of the toxic people. It will take time, but little by little you will begin feeling better. Your life LITERALLY depends on getting away from abusive people. If you need to -- go to a psychiatric hospital to reach out for help. You are worth it!

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Tikirob

Hey Cat what’s up? I almost OD in alchohol in my youth, was in a coma for a few days, then I saw my mom when I woke up and went back to sleep for a few hours. I was really young at the time but it would not be the last time I blacked out. After a court case in my early 20s I had an epiphany, I would rather be free and sober than high with all this crazy stuff over my head. I did that for a long time, my life got better but I was still sad. I slipped and got drunk a few times but luckily nothing aspirin could not help. I just lost my job three years ago, I was diagnosed with a mental issue and realized I was medicating myself back in the day when I was getting in trouble to deal with anxiety, now It takes most of my energy to get through the day, I am living at a friends place paying rent but will have no where to go in a few months, l hoping SS gets back to me soon. But if my worst day is having a good meal and a cup of coffee I would rather have that then darkness. I bet you you are a cool person (wearing a hat my bad) who just had experienced a lot of BS. Do me a favor, if you are around an orange one day peel that sucker and smell it. Look at the skin and how bright it is. There are a thousands of things like that right now you have access to. Good things that just come as they are. Most of us don’t appreciate (you may be saying F N orange right now haha) But trust me the more simple things you start to appreciate the less appetizing the chaos becomes. I have thought deeply about ending it myself in the past, but I finally came to the conclusion if I had 1000 dollars in my pocket and I was betting on a horse would I rip the ticket up in the middle of the race? Hell no.

2 likes
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Celtic27

Hi cat sorry to see your so down please try and get help you are too good of a person to leave this earth plus doing so helps no one you hurt those close to you! Have you tried talking to your doctor about how you feel lately if not be if not now would be a great time to go to them! Please take care God bless you I will keep you in my prayers david

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Cocoon3

Don’t feel alone !!!!

I feel like I’m in the same boat as you everywhere I turn im taken incorrectly, & ever since I tried to commit suicide...4 yrs ago... I’m treated as tho I have the plague. even when I’m sick or chronically hurting (back & neck) , I have to watch & make sure I word everything correctly so it’s not taken the wrong way -

•••every corner of my life is toxic

•••I cant just get up & leave- I hv obligations, my elderly mom etc

•••So, what do you do

•••if you find out please let me know

••• I feel so trapped- & like I’m watching everyone else live their lives, while I’m sitting in a bubble- just watching them

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Cat26538

I’m hurting so bad that I want to od on anxiety pills

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clayjars

I'm sorry to hear that you're not dong well. Feeling alone and unwanted is a terrible feeling and I think we all know what it feels like. What makes you feel unloved and unwanted? I know that when I've felt alone and unwanted, it was when I was afraid and kept a distance from others because I was afraid of their rejection. I would want to talk to someone, but wouldn't because I would assume that they wouldn't be interested in me. From my hurtful past, I'd learned not to trust people and be suspicious of their motives. As I got older, I realizes how "stuck" I was in that child's frame of mind, where I continued to interpret life & events through the "weak, helpless self." I am continuing to learn that I need to stop being afraid of people. I am learning to face situations with a new attitude to "re-learn" what's really out there instead of letting my "old me" continue to feed my imagination and keep me a prisoner. Fear had really kept me from getting close to others & caring about them. And, as I learn to over come my fears & to care about others, I realize how much they really care about me, too. It's a slow learning curve because what I had learned through my hurtful past really distorts how I interpret what I face today.

I'm glad you are here to vent though. Hang in there. You're going to be okay. I wanted to share this song with you that inspires me to push through another day.

bit.ly/1q0SPTX

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