I'm not sure if I have anxiety, but I can't quiet my mind...

[Murphy80]

Hi...I think maybe I have high functioning anxiety. I'm Type A, I feel like I have to give 110% to everything and everyone in my life, but recently, my husband's half brother was released from prison to home arrest, and my husband offered our house up to him for the next two months. My husband travels a lot, and he didn't really consult me on this decision. I know he's family, but this whole thing has triggered my anxiety so bad. I can't find the words to explain to my husband or anyone why his half brother's presence in my home bothers so much. I can't shut the thoughts up that are in my head, and today when I was walking my dogs I found myself hoping that I got hit by a car so my misery would be over. But then I can tell myself that isn't what I want, but I just feel it so much...I can't explain it. I don't know why this is bothering me so much. My husband thinks I'm being selfish because I don't want him here, but that isn't it...I'm home and he's here all the time while my husband works all day and travels. It's super uncomfortable for me. I want his half brother to get back on his feet, etc. but I don't want him here. Then I worry if I'm being a horrible, selfish person and then the thoughts just come back and keep me up at night. I'm miserable, but it just seems like maybe there isn't anything wrong with me so I don't want to waste my time going to see someone for it. I don't know what to do...has anyone else experienced this? How can I quiet my mind? Meditation and yoga aren't helping. I just don't know what to do to help myself.

[Hidden]

Hi

I’m so sorry for how you feel.

I would be same as you.

To some of us, sharing our home and space with someone other than our partner is a real intrusion. Anxiety can be triggered for us in many ways. Our home is our safety domain, if that is disrupted in any way it can cause us anxiety, well it does for me, i live alone and I can’t bare workmen in even...it sends me in a spin.

I’m sorry I don’t have the answers for you but I can say I would totally get how you feel for sure...

Have you visited your dr to get some support, if you tell him or her how you feel , it’s a start.

Ideally to sit and explain how you feel to your partner would be ideal, although from what you say you have tried this. Having another person in our homes does affect us for sure..there isn’t that same privacy..it just makes a difference, besides your not happy about it and you live there too. In my opinion he needs to involve you in such big decisions ...you at least need to know it’s short term and he is looking for an alternative.

I really hope you can resolve this so you feel better, I think because you feel guilty maybe that is hampering you. I don’t feel you should feel guilty at all.

Maybe see if there is anywhere in your area that offers some support and guidance , somewhere you can go to talk about it , I’m nit sure what country you are in, and what is available in your area maybe your dr could advise...

Good wishes x

[Murphy80 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Knowing that I'm not crazy about feeling this way feels good. Thanks for validating my feelings. I've always considered myself to be friendly, etc., but I just don't do well with anyone being in our home for a long period of time, and I always think to myself that it's just my space. My safety zone, and I guess this is a trigger for me because my safety zone has been taken away from me. I think because my husband doesn't have anxiety or depression that he just doesn't understand why this would be an issue for someone. Anyway, thank you for reading my post and responding. It means a lot.

[Hidden in reply to Murphy80]

Hi

Your welcome.

Believe me lots of us who struggle with anxiety would find the situation you have been put in very difficult. It’s important to us to have that space, so important.

It is difficult for anyone to understand who doesn’t experience it yes, but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer..your needs should be considered..being triggered affects us in many ways.

Welcome to this site , I hope it helps being here.

🌸🌸🌸

[Clue]

I understand how you feel. I get the same way. I always have my son around even when repair men or maintenance people come to the house. You have to tell him or go someplace else until he leaves.