Utterly broken

[BethMebrouki]

days go fast and nights go rough, I hate everything but somehow I keep telling myself it is ok but tbh it is not and it has never been, I keep asking myself why me ? why me who is going through hell and I have done nothing bad to anyone but everyone keeps hurting me. I tried to end my life but something stopped me. I still haven't got any idea why or how but Im still here.

Living a hellish, dreadful and crazy life .

panic attacks yeah are destroying me, Oh Gosh why why why!!!! I dont know what I want or what to do anymore I truly hate it.

[kenster1]

hi im sorry to hear of your struggles life can be cruel at times lets hope reaching out on here goes a long way to seeing you through to the sunshine you deserve.

[BethMebrouki in reply to kenster1]

thanks and I hope so :/ it is so much and Im tired but I appreciate your kind words as I wish that everyone gets better

[kenster1 in reply to BethMebrouki]

hey no worries glad to offer support.you will beat it and come through it better and stronger for it.

[BethMebrouki in reply to kenster1]

I truly appreciate it thanks

[StormChaser43]

Sorry to hear of your struggles. I have grown to believe over my many years of struggling especially with Emetaphobia and Anxiety and depression so I can help others. I also believe God gives us trials not only to use us to glorify Him by helping others but to help us trust Him more. I hate the feeling of anxiety but I love being able to find others that struggle so I can listen and give them the best advice I can.

My trials have drawn me nearer to God. I know Satan has attacked plenty of times. I was molested as a child, raped by a man, cheated on by my current husband, bullied all through my schools years by teacher and students a like. Told I was dumb and would not amount to anything. My Mom was the hardest, when she died. And having a child I didnt think I ever would have. The torture of my brain during post partum depression. And having a child who has a disease called cyclic Vomitting syndrome. Life has been hard at times I have wished to give up. But then I think about others needing my friendship, someone to say I understand and I am there for you. In all honesty a lot of this has made me stronger. Yes, I still struggle but I love my daughter. I love sunshine and flowers, rainbows and laughter, puppies and kittens. They all make me happy.

[BethMebrouki in reply to StormChaser43]

I wish it's easy but still trying my best to help and get help. Sometimes I feel like Im doing fine then opps sth goes wrong again buut I will do it and hold on. I have got my sisters who are far away from me and my life isn't perfect but it's life ahh, Im doing my best for the sake of my sisters and mom. I workout and help ppl at the elderly house as Im keeping myself busy with writing and teaching but at the end of the day I feel like nothing goes well and I feel a whole in my heart, I feel like God has abondened me........... Again thanks as I hope you are doing fine.

[heretohelp99]

You don't know me and I don't know you but I just wanna say that you can get through this. If it's a certain person or multiple people making you feel this way then cut them out of your life so you're automatically on the road to being happier. If you can't really figure out what's going on and you need help then consider seeing a therapist or talk to someone close to you in your life. That person can really help you out if you just need to let out something you've been holding on to for awhile. Don't resort to suicide if that's what you might think about if you think there's no way out. But seeing a therapist and psychologist can put you on medication and that will be good for you mentally. I hope I helped you out or at least made your day, love.

Think positive!

[BethMebrouki in reply to heretohelp99]

thank you so much and yes I already cut them out of my life but the problem is getting bigger and life is getting harder Im lost tbh and here I'am doing my best to survive . I have seen and therapist but it didn't go well...

lots of love and I hope things go back on track.