Enough Is Enough

[Pepe1962]

Each day that goes by I feel like someone out there has it in for me. Everything I lay my hands on turns into $@#&!!!. What is it that I am doing? A relationship that I was in for eighteen months came to a head about a little over a week ago. The man who I had been seeing had more than bent over backwards for me. He was different and stood out from any other men that I was involved with. However my history of abusive relationships including a bad marriage had left me feeling hypervigilant and early of men that I felt like I always have to be on my guard. The last relationship I was in may have lasted longer if I wasn't constantly on my guard. I even have gone to therapy since I was afraid of sabotaging this relationship. We had a bump in the road several months ago which is water under the bridge with him but I am the one who remembered it. I was involved with so called boyfriends who cheated on me and belittled me. They started out as charming, attentive, caring and loving. As time went on they turned on me and became emotionally mentally abusive. After this relationship there won't be any more of them afterwards. I am damaged goods. Who wants a broken person? No one! Enough is enough.

[Jdavid2000]

I've been reading Feeling Good by David Burns--it is basically the first consumer book about cognitive behavioral therapy. He talks about cognitive distortions like overgeneralization and minimizing the positive--I doubt everything you touch goes bad; I bet you did a hundred small things right today that you didn't consider. And you did go to therapy to try to get help, so you weren't just sitting around letting it fail. You're not a broken person--you're a human who is hurt, and that is not damaged goods at all. I'm sorry you've had such a rough time recently. You might try to look up that book; I got it at the library for free. It is helping me understand the way negative thoughts snowball into negative emotions and has exercises to help you catch them and correct them. Maybe it can help you too.

[Pepe1962 in reply to Jdavid2000]

😅😄 Thank you. Maybe I should refrain from relationships for awhile. I had a good thing and then blew it because of my inability to trust this man who would never go out of his way to hurt me. I really think I hurt him though.

[faulhallen]

I’m so sorry to hear that you seem to be struggling so much right now. I know what it feels like to feel like everything you touch turns to s—-.

I know you don’t know me but I’d like to ask you to stop putting yourself down. There’s a post I made a while ago with a picture of a poem. Please read the poem and the post entirely (including the directions at the end of the palindrome).

As long as we don’t give up there is hope for us. What is broken can be fixed.

A bit of vigilance is good in today’s world of dating. There’s nothing wrong with that. As far as what went wrong in your relationships I can’t say I don’t have enough information but I believe everyone who remains open to what may come can eventually find the person they were truly meant to be with. Hopefully when you meet the right person they will understand your hesitations.

Don’t give up hope. Whether it feels like it or not there is light at the end of the tunnel. If you ever need to talk myself and others will surely be here for you 🙂

[Pepe1962 in reply to faulhallen]

You are a dear. Thank you.