I moved to New Orleans January of this year to be with my kids and try to get back with my wife, who left me a year prior. In April she made it seem like we were getting back together but retreated, which caused me to have a very bad relapse to alcohol, which I have had a problem with. She came over with her family and brought me to rehab. In July she told me she did love me and wanted things to be good again but then she cut off contact without explanation. Now I find she is dating someone and she wants a divorce. I also work remotely now so I don't have any friends or family here, and I'm stuck in an overdraft cycle so I'm already unable to buy food a day after payday. I don't want to die but I can't see how anything is going to improve...I feel like I am starting all over at 40.
Thanks for listening.
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Jdavid2000
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I'm really sorry jdavid....that is really hard to cope with....and I hear you about not having the money after payday. I wanted to suggest that you check with some local food banks or other outlets that may have a program set up to provide food. I know the battle with the bottle as I have been in recovery for a while now and it's easy to fall back on an old habit when your down and out. But the problem as you probably know is if you already have depression....alcohol is a depressant and just compounds the problem and it's expensive. I would hope you have some support group to help you with that aspect and give you emotional support as well. I am so glad your here sharing and hope you keep sharing as I find it very healing. It's gonna take a while for your heart to heal, but happiness will come again....it's hard to fathom now.... but I was at my bottom for a good while...and things did get better after I started reaching out....
Welcome Jdavid2000 to our virtual family of support and care. I'm sorry for all you have been through. When you went to rehab in July did it help you? Are you following through with AA? The support you receive from this 12 step program will help not only with your alcohol dependence but also with your life issues.
Having no family or friends is always difficult but now you have us and are never alone.
Hi!! I cannot imagine what you are going through. I am truly sorry. However, from what you just said, I can tell you’re a caring person. I know I don’t know you but for some reason I think you’re going to be just fine. If you ever need someone to talk to, just know I’m a great listener.👍🏽 Hope you have a great day.🍁🌻
Hi, sorry to hear you are going through something like this. I think several things. One go to your bank and see what they can do for you. Sometimes they will work with you to get you back on track with your account. Second know you will be okay. Third never give up. Fourth try to eliminate anything you dont need especially drinking. Fifth stay focused make a list of things you know you have to do to get back on your feet and work on them the best you can. Also, remember its okay to ask for help. Many churches and organizations are usually out there to help with food and other necessities. Google you area and see what you can find. A food bank, church that can help get you out if the red or other relief. If possible find someone to talk to a counselor or even a person at a church. We all need someone to talk to. I hope some of this helps. Maybe even get a sponsor at an AA meeting that can help listen and help in some way. Overall, dont give up!
Thanks for the kind comments. I have not been keeping up with AA. For a while it seemed pointless. I almost went over to a meeting during lunch today but turned back because I didn't think I had enough gas. There is one closer tonight I want to go to. I am debating selling my wedding ring tomorrow for a little cash...not like I need it any more.
I'm sorry for what you are going through. You probably feel like your in a hamster wheel right. The same cycle day in and day out. Well Im going to be honest with you, and please dont get offended its only to help you. You need to stop being so hard on yourself. Stop thinking about the past because its eating you up inside. Your "wife" had stopped contact because she is with someone else. Yeah what she did to you was horrible and shady,but she will regret it oneday. (trust me I know). Now your are SOBER and that is A'MAZING. You recognized your problem, and where accountable for your actions. SO I think you need to focus on you and how you can be the best version of yourself. The pain that your wife brought upon you will pass, and yeah it hurts like hell, but it will pass. Keep going to work eventhough you hate your job, (i hate mine too). If you need food there are food pantry's that wil help you, and lastly pray. Praying helps me through everything Give it to Jesus, all your pain, and suffering. He will take it away and guide you. God had a plan for you, and sometimes its not the same plan we make for ourselves, but he has a good reason for doing what he's doing. You are destined for greatness.
Trust me, there is life after divorce, if that’s the case. But you need to find your peace first by dealing with the alcohol problem. Go to the meeting tonight. Take that first step.
I want to believe what you guys are saying but I just have a hard time. Not everyone can find love again after divorce, and my conditions seem set up to make me the pathetic loser, lonesome dad while she is happy with some other guy. I can only stop the thoughts and regret when I am heavily distracted and then they come right back when I try to sleep or don't have adequate distractions. I have a call out to make an appointment with a therapist who is 100% covered by my company's EAP, so I guess that's something, but I haven't had good experiences with therapists...including one who didn't realize which client I was until halfway through the session! Lol.
Anyway...I guess I'm just whining at this point. I'm sorry, and thanks.
No need to apologize. Finding a good therapist may take some time, but it is worth it. I have a hard time finding a good hair stylist, imagine trusting someone with my thoughts and feelings. But I hope you’ll get a good one this time. As for finding love, same thing, it took me a few heartbreaks (plural) to find the person that I will grow old with. I always believed in love and marriage forever, but it doesn’t happen the first time for everyone. For many reasons, on both sides. The important thing is for you to realize you will probably need to work on yourself to be able to find - and keep - a healthy relationship. Focus on that first, the rest will come when time is right.
I am sorry for what you are going through, addiction is not a beast you can beat on your own. It takes a team. I agree with others that AA meetings are important, ans so is having an accountability partner. ( I will leave you a link to an article about accountability partners ) Also if your income qualifies for it, you may qualify for the SNAP program to help with food. or as others have mentioned food pantries.There is an organization that can offer free counseling advise and refer you to professionals in your area, probably covered by your insurance. FOTF Counseling Line 1-855-382-5433 I am sorry your wife ended your relationship, but there is someone who longs to have a relationship with you, and loves you no matter what your circumstances or what you have done. Because He already died for those wrongdoings or sins. to have a relationship with Jesus is easy , just ask him. bit.ly/2pChA0f. You will be in my prayers
If it's meant to be, then I will. I had same phase, where by gf cheated and I was having anxiety attacks and all. Ik what it likes to be alone at that time. Just chill, vent out here. Ping anyone if you want. All are there to help you.
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