One day...

[laurab13]

Who feels they need the strength to do this sometimes whether it is family or friends ...

[Hidden]

I honestly hate to admit it, but I do! My sister passed away last December and I have continually reached out to her adult children and husband to no avail. I see pictures of them on various outings on Facebook to the point that I rarely get on anymore because it hurts. I think my pride will not allow me to reach out any longer and I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. Your post has brought these feelings out and I think I’ve been stuffing them simply because it hurts and I don’t want it to bring me down. Gives me a lot to think about! Yes, I understand how you feel! My sister would have wanted me to stay in touch with them and I have expressed my desire to do so to them and was given fake replies that have never materialized. Well, I tried! One of her son’s wives told me that they were having me over to eat dinner with them one week about 2-3 months ago and then I never heard back from her after I expressed how great that sounded and I asked what to bring. Well, I don’t want to make this a petty battle. Thanks for your post and clearly, letting me vent my feelings! I hope you have a wonderful day!!🌞🌷🌞

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

So sorry about your sister. I know how that feels. And I have two brothers I haven’t seen since my mom passed in 2009. You would think it would bring people closer together. I don’t get it....

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It seems to rip families apart, that's what happened to mine 29 years ago, so sad isn't it? I'm sorry you have to deal with this also. Have a beautiful day! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It is so sad. Love to you too♥️♥️♥️♥️!!!

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

I can't imagine how painful that is.... but in a way I can.... I have a sister and four beautiful nieces and nephews....and they live over a 1000 miles away. They all live very busy lives and really don't stay in touch as much as I wish we all could.... but you know what .... I have turned this around.... and maybe you can too.... we put ourselves out there, they know where to find us... and that's all we can do. We have to just say.... I know they love me, and I love them.... and this is not a reflection on us.... we don't know what's going on in their lives, but it certainly isn't anything wrong with us, they are just getting on with things.

I'm going to say this, and it's just a thought.... but do you think you may remind them of their mom..... and is this some kind of subconscious pushing you away because they are associating you with the mom.... and it's not directed at you as a person and who you are, but that maybe you remind them so much of the mom and they are trying to figure out how to live without her.... I don't know... I may be way off base here... forgive me if I am... but just a thought. So in time... maybe this will begin to heal over time, and you can have some kind of relationship with them.... but for now... don't take this out on yourself.... you don't know what is really going on with them till you talk to them..... but sometimes.... we just have to let them go for now...and take care of ourselves.

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

Again, you nailed it faux! I have had that thought and seriously think that may have something to do with it. She was my only sibling. She has 6 grandchildren who I dearly love to see and play with because they’re so beautiful, smart, and creative! I, unfortunately, have no grandchildren! I went over to her house to visit her husband not long after she passed away and her grandchildren were there. The oldest one kept hugging me and waved at me over and over when I left and he has never done that. I knew that I reminded him of my sister. It is unfortunate, but I guess a reality that I will have to wait out. Thanks so much for your insight and gentle thoughtfulness! ❤️🌞❤️

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

I am soooo glad this helped..... and it's just going to take some time honey... don't give up on them... I had a 10 year gap seeing my sisters kids because of their dad divorcing my sister and keeping them away from the family....it killed me cause I had been there with them since birth... Now they are grown up and are re-connecting on the internet... one just came for a visit a few months ago.... a very long journey to get here.... I just melted with joy....

But it took a long time for them to be able to connect.... I let them be... and just take what comes.... I am more at peace that way...

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

You are a very kind and wise woman!! Thank you so much for helping me deal with this. I think you’re right and that’s what I’m going to do...leave my heart open so when they DO come around, I’ll be more than ready! Terrific plan! ❤️😊❤️

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

love finds a way....

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

Ya know what though...if you really are friends, I believe you find the time, 10 minutes a week? I don't think that's too much. Not trying to be nasty here, it's just how I see it.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You said one thing that was the best...I tried...I sure can relate with you on that If they aren't there for you , then is it a friend? I wish you a beautiful day! I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister, may you be blessed! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

[laurab13 in reply to Hidden]

Awww I’m glad it’s helped , im realising and understanding this so much more as I get older . And it’s tiring being the one to constantly make the effort and get nowhere or get negativity back. Hope you have a good day too ❤️

[fauxartist]

exactly....friendship goes both ways....and there are givers and takers.... it's a balanced relationship that is a true friendship.

[Hidden]

Boy I've done this more than one time, however I believe they are also toxic people & I don't do toxic! Have a beautiful day! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

me either... that's a couple of my brothers.... toxic.... not healthy for animals or small children... or me.... I don't do narcs. or bully's

[Michael8072]

My best friend who I knew since 1st grade all the way up to our first year in college.......I don't really know what happened but it got to the point where I was always calling to hang out and he stopped calling me back or trying to make plans to hang out. I guess we both started going in separate directions. I really don't know what happened that's just my guess. But I stopped reaching out. I don't always want to be the one calling to see what's going on or catching up. So I stopped. I see pictures on Facebook of him still hanging with the old gang from school. And I guess I was the odd man out. Since I don't hear from any of them.

Sometimes as hard as it is or can be I guess you have to wave bye bye and move on for yourself.

[courage_50]

Me!!!! Definitely feeling like this today! Thanks for sharing ❤️