Hello, Im new to this

[Arcticborn]

Hi, I've been dealing with Anxiety and depression since I was a kid. Although I didn't realized until I joined the Armed Forces how bad it was. I started receiving treatment in 2012 after completely shutting down. At the time I thought I was just physically sick. I felt nauseous, tired, and had headaches. After a couple months of this going on I went in to see a Mental Health provider on base. It worked until the Captain I was working with headed off to his next base. The replacement I got was a Captain who seemed not to really like her job. After my second visit with her she fell asleep and once I notice I walked out and didn't schedule anouther appointment. A year later i had another panic attack and then the repeat of my previous experience. Again i visited MH but this time saw a civilian contractor provider. This guy was definitely the person I needed. So i worked with him for my remaining 2 years before having to PCS (change of duty station). When i arrived there i did pretty well for about 3 months, then i hit anouther wall. Panic attack and this depression that came with it. I'd spent hours just laying on the bathroom floor staring with no idea why. I missed going to events with my family and friends. A few weeks later i decided again to go to MH but this time get put on drugs. So i went my PCM (primary care manager) first who didnt send me to MH, he just prescribe a strong dose of Zoloft. Here things got dark for me. Lets say after 3 weeks i ended checking myself into a treatment facility for a month where I made a full recovery. After the trip to the hospital i saw probably one of the best MH clinics in the Air Force. I was able to wean off Celexa (replacement for zoloft) and gain my physical and mental strength back. Of course this lasted a year. Now i seemed to have relapsed in a ugly way. I came down with A&D with strong hypochondria. My doctor knows this is my anxiety and for my health she did all that she can without surgery and she tells me that no of finding suggests anything I am scared about . So im again with a new MH provider team. Im getting back on celexa, I'm seeing a new but promising psychologist As of last week. Now the thing is relearning how to eat again. At one point i didnt eat a single thing for 6 days(2weeks ago). Now that im trying again it feels that every meal or snack is like swallowing poison until i can relax enough to actually eat.

Sorry for the long intro about my life with this but id figured I lay my cards on the table as a way to get to learn of others who suffer the way i do.

[Hidden]

Welcome to the group. You are in the right place! This is a relapse and you can recover.