Looking for a little moral support

[SunnyD71]

My daughter is dealing with a lot of issues. Anxiety & depression are 2 to name a few. We are trying to find a program that will help her with drug management, consoling, substance abuse consoling. We are having a hard time. Her anxiety is crippling. I feel guilt and hopeless that I have not found anything yet. This is not helping my issues. Just looking for a like support.

[fauxartist]

first thing to do is to not blame yourself...this is not your fault...nor you or your daughter has done anything wrong to cause this. It's a chemical imbalance, both addiction and depression. Your daughter may be what is called...'Dual Diagnosed' when she is assessed properly by a professional, then you will know for sure. There is nothing you can do to fix her, you cannot talk her out of being an addict or being depressed...it's a disease. 1 in 3 addicts and alcoholics also suffer from depression, and also many with anxiety. We all have a couple of different issues....but in your daughters case....if she is actively using and drinking and does not herself want to stop.....you cannot make her.

She has to make this choice on her own. There are on-line recovery suggestions...AA, Recovery, and many others....some are free. I personally did AA in the beginning because it was free and I had a lot of support in the meetings....as does everyone. But unless your daughter makes that choice herself to get clean and sober and get help with her depression...your going to have to learn how to live with it...that's where therapy for you and her, and groups like Al-anon come in....they teach the non-alcoholic who needs to live with the alcoholic how to manage their lives around that and how to set up healthy boundaries for themselves.

It's heartbreaking to see a loved one suffer...and especially for a spouse or parent....all you can do is be there to catch them when they do decide to get help...but it's a slippery slope...and you are not an expert on addiction, sometimes addicts will tell you what you want to hear, they will lie, cheat, and steal to get what they want, addiction can have a hold on you stronger that any other emotion you could imagine....I strongly suggest you all get help with this.

[RainneLim]

Hello, I hope you get a lot of advice from here. I believe you should take Fauxartist's advice.

Do not push her into therapy and just be there behind her for support whenever she needs you. Listen to her, ask her day is and also show her you vulnerability to with what you are going through separate from family. I've been going through depression for 12 years and anxiety for a about 3 years. I didn't get help until beginning of July. I am in my mid 20s.

I didn't know that my mom and sister knew until recently, but they knew I was very different from most girls. I had friends, was good at putting a smile and hanging out with them, but when I would get home, I would stay locked up in my room, and not have dinner. When I lived with my parents, I would buy wine and drink the bottle by myself as I watch T.V.. Instead of saying stop, they sit next to me and watch show with me so I don't feel lonely. And my depression and anxiety would slowly go away. At times, she would tell my best friend or boyfriend to encourage me to go out to eat so that it encourages me to be out and enjoying life. My mom watched from behind all these years and 3 months ago, I finally told her about my depression and she just listened and told me that I've been strong. She didn't tell me to go to the doctor, she told me that if she wanted to talk to someone whether her or someone else, she will be there.

From the perspective of someone who is depress and has anxiety, my mom definitely was there for me even though I didn't know it. It will be both a journey for you and her. Believe in her that she will get better. And be there for her no matter what.

[SunnyD71 in reply to RainneLim]

Thanks. I am always there for her and she knows that. I think I just needed to hear it from someone. Thank you again. It really does mean a lot.

[fighterlife]

Hey! Sorry to hear of your hard time you are going through. Keep your head up and keep searching for good quality help. Have you reached out to a pastor or counselor? These sources can be great support not only emotionally but spiritually. Here are great articles to help you see that there is hope: bit.ly/2KL7NhL

These tough times can draw people closer together and unite us with great people.

Prayers,

[SunnyD71 in reply to fighterlife]

Thank you, I never even thought about that. I will give it a lot of thought. Thank you very much.