I bought this dress the other day that I thought was really great.. then I realized it was the exact color as the hospital gowns that I wore back in January.
My brother said he was hiding hickies by wearing a flannel the other day. My mom said "when your sister wore flannels in the summer it meant she was cutting again."
I had one of the worst prolonged panic feelings/panic attacks ever this weekend. We had this massive event at work and it felt like I had a corset on, my lungs and chest were so tight. It lasted for 3 days.
In the hotel room I would feel incredibly scared. Its a really old hotel, so I was imagining ghosts. While I do believe in spirits (just go with it for a minute) I think I was mostly just afraid of letting go and relaxing. I couldn't do it. I recently relapsed and self-hsrmed and I think that was a something in the back of my mind.
A friend of mine offended me so much this weekend. Saying incredibly sexist things and speaking for me in situations that were really inappropriate. I have been really forward with what's been happening (hospitalization, rape, ptsd, depression, anxiety) and it felt like he was minimizing me and treating me with no respect. It hurt.
Been feeling bad about my body and shame about pretty much everything.