I don’t know how to continue

[legallystressed]

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I am absolutely hopeless I’ve been fighting for so long and I can’t anymore. My career is an absolute shambles and stresses me out to the point that I’m immobile and can’t do anything but stare at the wall and imagine dying. I can’t function but I have no alternatives. I don’t think I can do this anymore. When I hear about someone dying now I don’t feel sad I feel jealous and Then I feel guilty for feeling like that

[Hidden]

I have a high stress job too, and never feel like I am doing it well. Feel like I will be fired at any moment, and I am the support for my whole family, so cant quit. One thing that helps is to make lists and prioritize. Just tackle one thing at a time. And to take some time each day for relaxing. I am so sorry you are in this same dark place as me. But u arent alone.

[BW33]

So sorry. . I will be thinking about U. We r here for U!

[legallystressed]

It’s work but it consumes me and keep messing everything up. It’s not exactly a 9-5 type job. I work for myself and got fired by two clients this week

[gogogirl in reply to legallystressed]

What kind of work do you do? It sounds stressful. I hope you also have hobbies or distractions that give you some peace.

[legallystressed in reply to gogogirl]

Divorce lawyer. I’m a diehard Mets fan but that’s pretty stressful too. My work pretty much consumes me

[gogogirl in reply to legallystressed]

Divorce lawyer wow- no wonder you're stressed! At any rate- I hope you can look into other options so that you can work with others. You obviously work very hard.

[legallystressed in reply to gogogirl]

Not hard enough😔

[legallystressed]

Unfortunately not. But my dr does know

[Hidden]

Is your career still fulfilling for you? Is this what you want to keep doing?

[legallystressed in reply to Hidden]

I hate it but I have 200k in student loans from law school and it’s all I’ve ever done don’t think I have a choice

[Hidden in reply to legallystressed]

If you could do something else, what would it be? If you hate your career choice, I think it makes sense that you feel depressed and trapped. You are trying to force yourself to do something that your inner being knows it doesn’t want to do.

[legallystressed in reply to Hidden]

Anything? Teach probably

[Hidden in reply to legallystressed]

Imagine yourself as a teacher... what feelings does that bring up for you? I resigned my position in healthcare administration a year ago, I was burned out and depressed, full of anxiety and insomnia. I sat down and after crying, wrote down the question “what have you wanted to do that you never have given yourself the chance to do yet?” The answer to that was to be a counselor. I am now back in school at 39, to be a counselor for drug and alcohol addiction.

[legallystressed in reply to Hidden]

Peace

[Hidden in reply to legallystressed]

If you are a qualified lawyer, presumably there are numerous other options open to you? Having your own firm may not be the best option. I know it's hard to step away but maybe you should consider it. The main thing is, you do have choices. Please don't imagine you are trapped. My wife did work in private practice but she never regrets leaving it and my other lawyer friends don't exactly give private practice glowing reports. Lecturing at a college sounds like an interesting possibility. Take care,

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Can't believe I posted something about a college also even before I saw your post!

[gogogirl in reply to legallystressed]

So, you're a lawyer? Wow! I am sure you've looked into this- but could you also teach law maybe even one day a week to help financially?

[Samson1953]

pls pls don't give up. listen to everyone encouraging words. tomorrow really is a new day. I'm praying 4 you. you can do this e step at a time.

[DeniseFromNC]

You are not alone. I’m in the same situation and everyone advices me to stay and hang in there. Well, I’ve made peace with myself and I’m going to do what’s best for me. With that being said, I’m resigning within a month (with or without a job). Once I committed to saving myself (because no one else will), I felt empowered to make my peace of mind priority. Right now I chose to take care of me and money will not replace my happiness or peace of mind. I’m tired of being stressed with money. I’d rather be broke, happy and STRESS free!

Do what’s best for you

[ErikViking]

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have family members that suffered from depression and suicidal ideation, and now they're doing well....and I'm jealous! I TRY to be happy for them, but I'm like "why the heck can't I feel that way too?". I think of dying and being in Heaven and the thought is so attractive. But God's got us here for a reason...and once we get past this, great things are in store for us. I HAVE to cling to that hope. If I didn't have hope, I'd be way more screwed than I am now.

i pray that you feel better...I'm on your side...and there's plenty of help out there. I just wish my meds would kick in. it seems that finding an effective medication has been an impossible task, but must continue on. Even though it's the last thing i feel like doing, must move forward somehow...if it weren't for the strength of God, I'd never make it out of my bed.

Take care and be strong....you will overcome! One day at a time, one minute at a time.

Erik

[legallystressed in reply to ErikViking]

Yep dying feels like the only way to escape but I’m scared. I feel like I’ve ruined my life.

[ErikViking in reply to legallystressed]

Your life isn't ruined, although I'm sure it feels that way now. In time, options will present themselves..... but it's so hard waiting for things to improve....

[Hidden]

Have you considered corporate law? I have worked for both law firms and banks (as an investigator) and the bank attorneys seemed WAY less stressed. And then maybe you would have some breathing space to figure out a different profession if u want. Just a thought.

[legallystressed in reply to Hidden]

I know nothing about corporate law u wouldn’t even know where to start

[Hidden in reply to legallystressed]

It was mainly contract law, and banking regulations. I am sure you could pick it up quickly....or perhaps take a course in it. It didnt look all that exciting, but they did seem less stressed. Anyway, it was just a thought. Good luck! I hope you find sone peace......

[Red1225]

I sadly get this the world needs more empathy, if only more people understood the isolation, immobility, embarrassment, and sadness of depression

[NWGal]

Dear friend, are you in therapy? Sounds like some pretty serious stuff going on. How can WE help you make some sense of all this? You mentioned "doc" in another reply but is this a mental health therapist or your PCP? If just med management through your PCP we need to go to the next level. Seems like you're caught in a loop - work-stress-work-stress with no intervention. We need to break this chain of doom friend.