Women are strong, reach deep

[EastbayTom]

Women have it so difficult. Work is an escape and an identity. People do not respect the high-intensity nature of the "stay at home mom." I too lost my identity when I left teaching, and when my wife died, and I left the church where I was on the council. What do you talk about with friends!/? I was spending most of my time driving three teenage daughters around. Should I talk about daughters, when half my friends don't have kids? I think I wore out my present wife at the time with my problems. Well,nplease do not get so hopeless, you kill yourself (my wife did), I have PTSD from the reaccuring images if myself giving her CPR, I am a crybaby bitch at movies, but, I am more sensitive and thoughtful. Don't leave a trail of reckage. You might need therapy, talk with a professional. I will be here! This is hard, you are string

[Agora1]

EastbayTom, I am so sorry for your tragic loss. That certainly was a cruel life experience you went through. I can't imagine the last moments you had in giving CPR to your wife. Talking with a professional is always the way to go but also knowing that someone like yourself actually went through the pain and you've lived through it.

The responsibility of a full time stay at home mom is underestimated. I'm sorry you had to learn in the most difficult way possible. I'm sure it did make you more sensitive and thoughtful and respectful of a mother's job in life. I hope your words reach a lot of our members both men and women alike. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for offering to be here. This is what the forum is about, people like yourself. x

[EastbayTom in reply to Agora1]

I have always respected and honored a mother's role. My late wife and I were overachievers, she had just finished Grad school, burn out and postpartum struck. It is good to get it out. We are not alone in our suffering, others are afflicted too. We can stand together

[Agora1 in reply to EastbayTom]

I agree with you Tom in standing together we feel less alone and cared about.

This is what this forum is all about and I'm glad you are a part of it.

We are always here to help each other as we learn about life. Thanks.

[Hidden]

Hello Tom

I have Chronic Disabilities with associated Reactive Depression. Also suffer from a Congenital Short Term Memory Disorder with Diabetes 2

My Wife is my carer and I worry about He. I want to help, the problem is I cannot help much and I try and make light of my condition.

With luck I hope I go first and She will be able to manage better on Her own. We have a Collie Cross and now He is getting upset with me and refuses to go for his walk without me. So now He expects and the watches over me and if He feels I have gone far enough turns around and goes home

BOB

[EastbayTom in reply to Hidden]

You have the love of a wife and a dog. I sometimes dwell on how much easier it would be once I am gone, I know that is not what my wife kids and dogs want, so I try and understand my purpose, and to reach for it. You are valued, don't beat yourself up

[Hidden in reply to EastbayTom]

Tom

We both have lives and we need to live them to the best of our ability.

When I was medically disabled thirty years ago I looked to things to make my life more purposeful. I eventually became Voluntary Information Officer and also became involved on a mental health task force for Healthwatch. Eventually I represented my GP surgery on the CCG Task group and also I was involved with inspecting wards.

We can all find a nitch we can make our own and do something remarkable. I hope to return to my Voluntary posts soon, I wish to become involved in the practicalities of a new hospital/clinic

Never do yourself down, we all have problems with health we need to make a place for ourselves. Sitting at meetings in hot rooms seems mine

Here for chat

BOB

[EastbayTom in reply to Hidden]

Bob,

Right on Bob, we are of the same mind. I take two steps forward, and one back

Eventually I will get to where I am intended. Sometimes, it seems like I am always waiting for life map app to load on my phone !

Tom