Babysteps

[MandyBueno]

We all have suffered emotionally and when it comes to love is almost impossible not to feel it burn. Today 10 mins ago to be more precise, i burnt bridges to avoid myself from crossing them again, i have been helping a Guy friend of mine who's recently ( about to be 6 months) ago broke up with his girlfriend. He's damaged, handsome but damaged. I tried my best to give him advices since i faced the same scenario, but i ended up falling in love, kind of it, and we had a thing, but he's clearly in love for his ex who's moved on and is now on a new relationship. I have a good relationship with his entire family ( we grew up together and lived nextdoor for a long time) and i have been patient, but he keeps hurting me again and again, i know unconciously he's been doing this but still, i cannot allow someone to Just pull away and leave me hanging. You know how horrible it is to hold hands with someone who thinks about other person? I can't take it. He's been mirroing me, everytime i don't have my photo on my profile because he's been removed, he also takes it out. Please help me to not feel guilty, i know i can't Just stop helping someone who is in need of help, but i'm hurt and hopeless.

[starcatcher]

Hi MandyBueno,

Your situation is similar to what I went through. Instead of an ex it was alcohol. I was dating a guy, and he never told me he was a binge drinking alcoholic. Never the less, I stayed. I stayed through the drinking, I stayed through the cheating (online and physical), I stayed by his side through a divorce, custody, selling/buying a home,and the passing of his Mother. I stood by him. In the process I lost myself. He was drinking 2 out if the 3 years we were together. He has been sober a little over a year and I dont know when but I fell into a deep depression. Here I had been waiting for him to be sober, and now I'm depressed and I cant figure it out. We broke up a month ago, and my depression went into high gear. It is really bad. During that time i felt like I was only a carpet to him. I didnt feel like I meant anything. Of course there was no communication. Mandy if you feel a certain way, then trust your gut. I'd been feeling like I needed to leave for so long, but I didnt want the anxiety of being alone and grieving the end of the relationship, that wasnt healthy in the first place. I was just setting myself up for a heartbreak, and that's exactly what happened. Maybe he needs to be alone and deal with his feelings, instead of trying to distract himself with someone else (if that's what you think it is). I am sure you are a beautiful, and amazing person. You need to find your happiness. I hope to find mine too.

[MandyBueno in reply to starcatcher]

I feel sorry about what happened to you, but this is for sure a blessing in disguise, you gonna be happy and find yourself someone who will truly love you and be by your side. Heartbreak sucks, this is not the first time i hit the wall and suffer over someone who does not love me and Just take me for granted. Our situation is recent but it doesn't mean it will not pass, nobody is able to be heartbroken forever. I hope you find Peace within yourself.

[starcatcher in reply to MandyBueno]

Thank you Mandy. I know it will pass, I know I have to go through the emotions. I hope to look back on this and say, wow I am so glad it's a thing of the past.