First Time Here

[sincerelyangie]

So I’m kind of nervous writing this, this is my first time in an online support group. I’ve been in AA before and I know how it goes... “Hi my name is Angie and I have bipolar type 1 and anxiety and depression and PTSD and a drinking problem and a benzo problem and psychosis and epilepsy and well I need help..”

“Welcome Angie”

I know no one here is out to judge me but I feel like all eyes are on me. Like the world is out to get me. Like I’m not a good person. Like I’m not a good mother to my two year old son. Or I’m not even a good wife. I’m only 23 and I’ve attempted suicide twice. Almost nailed that one time. But now that I have a family I’m so scared of death and these re occurring thoughts of just everything scare the heck out of me.

I need help.

I’m not on the proper medication. I’m not on proper mental health plan. I’m not on the proper track of anything. And I am scared.

[01harley]

I'm so sorry to hear your scared. But this is a great place. No judgment. First of all I think you should get on the right medication. That will help so much if u give it time to work. Then I would decide the most important things in your life that u would like to make better. It's not gonna happen over night. Sounds like a few things need to be fixed. The 2 year old definitely needs its mother. So I would really concentrate on that first. Drinking does nothing but numb the pain for alittle while. But the next day your problems are right where they were when u took your first drink. Been there done that. I'm so glad your suicide attempts failed. For you and your baby. I know u can get better if u try hard and take time doing it. We all have felt the feeling of death and dread. It is part of our illness. I hope and pray u will think long and hard and try to get better. Please text I'm a very good listener.