New to this forum

[CameronGobber]

Hey everyone, im new to this forum, was sent a link through a crisis text hotline. Im a 42 year old male, in severe crisis rite now. Having anxiety every day, persisting throughout the day. Having severe depression / suicidal thoughts also. I am just out of a 5 year relationship, that was severely damaged ( once again ) from this crippling perpetual diesease. I am very self aware of the issues and at this point do not deny anything. 90% of my concience day is spent within this cloud ( depression / anxiety / ahendonia ). Over the last year i have tried multiple avenues to get myself back on track, I had 6 different jobs where i was just trying to get to the 3 month point so i could get insurance for more help, which was damaged every time ( mostly due to social anxiety ) In the past when i had insurance ive had psychatrists literally have me on a cocktail of 5 different meds, where it got to the point of them literally shrugging theyre shoulders at me. I have gone through the eating disorder stages of "what if its something im eating thats causing this" ( cleanses, diets, ect. ) i have lost 30 pounds in the last 3 months, and appetite is extremely up and down. I most recently in a ditch effort to save my relationship spent the majority of my savings on a ketamine run. I believe the lack of response to the ketamine was the nails in the coffin for this relationship. My anxiety and depression have severely increased due to the recent happenings ( break up, moving ) really worried about finding / holding down work now that the anxiety and depression have increased to this insane level. Its like im in this life damaging perpetual wheel that has completely spun off its spindle. Just basically putting my thoughts down, wanted to see what people who have experienced similar situations might have to say about it. Im really ready to start shoveling off the crap, instead of continuing to layer it on. This diesease has done sooooo much damage to my life, and the damage perpetually keeps getting worse. I have lost all hope, interest, humor, and spark of life at this point. I know there is definitely depression and anxiety, but think there is another underlying issue. I just read into Borderline Personality Disorder, and the key fits every hole. Anyways just laying it all out there, see what people might have to say about relating, coping stratigies, getting the proper help. Thanks for your time.

[AZ1970]

I commend you for not giving up. You keep looking for answers, which shows your strength and dedication to improving your life. I don't have borderline. I have PTSD, anxiety and depression. My therapist suggested I try DBT (which is indicated for borderline). It has been the best treatment for me. It gave me coping skills which I was lacking due to a childhood of trauma and neglect. I use it just about every day. I hope you find what you need. I am glad you found us here.

[ReardenSt33l]

This isn’t a cure-all by any means, but I recently got into yoga and found that to be very helpful to calming me down. I tend to get very depressed every morning and instead of laying in bed and dwelling on that fact I go to yoga a few times a week. Maybe try that out!

There are also plenty of in-person support groups that may be helpful for your situation. I had considered joining a group but lately my depression has let up a bit.

Continue to stay strong and know that you are worth it