So the past few days have been something different for me. I haven’t gotten the best of sleep and have been having the most vivid dreams. Some of which leave me boggled and unsure of what to think. What I am learning is not to read into them too much. Talking about them helps, but trying to dissect and analyze is no longer useful to me. I am tired of doing that. Being a logical and nitpicking person in the past, I have learned that it’s OK not to know everything. It’s OK not to have to fix everything. Some things are better left alone. When I don’t feel well, I get anxious thinking the worst and I am just PLAIN TIRED OF IT. It’s too much work. Too much stress and things just have to happen. I have to let the breeze or storm hit and hold onto what I know and have learned and LIVE.
BABY STEPS...
This year I will be 40. At 15, I didn’t think I would hit 40. Lol I have gotten this far and beyond blessed to have TODAY. Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t been feeling well mentally and physically, but I AM STILL ALIVE. My faith lies in God. People have let me down and that’s OK too. They are as human as I will ever be. The past is DONE. The present is NOW. The future is something to HOPE for. Many times I wish I had come with a manual so that my parents could have passed that down to me at a certain age. But unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.
It’s OK to FEEL scared. It’s OK to FEEL frustrated. It’s OK to FEEL depressed. It’s also OK to FEEL anxious.
What I love most about this community is being able to share, to feel, and to motivate to keep going. We all want better coping skills. Our minds our so convinced that we have to adhere to what society proclaims to be the “best.” That’s an unreality. It’s a false belief. And the only thing you and I have to focus on is being the best YOU you can be. And last time I checked, no one knows that better than you. Only you knows what feels RIGHT to you.
This morning I thought of getting some soil and just digging my toes and feet into. I use to love doing that as a child. I use to love dancing also. I need to remember that I am a grown-up child that needs and wants to be continuously loved. And since I have kids, what better way to bring out the kid in me.
I don’t have to be anywhere or be anyone. I am where I am at bc I put myself there and God has been with me the whole time. He’s my higher power... ❤️🌷🌺🌸🌼💕
Last minute plans cause anxiety...
let down by friends- not been invited!
It’s been a rough
Have any of you been close to trying something stupid like suicide?
How can 50 minutes a week with a therapist be enough?
