Trouble communicating in therapy

[Byelka]

I've been seeing my current therapist for a little over a year now. Recently I've noticed or come to the realization that I have a hard time verbalizing how I'm feeling when I am in session because I minimize what I'm experiencing. Anyone else notice they do this? How do you work through it to help maximize your time with your therapist?

[hmitchellrose]

Omg I feel the same way! And then I wonder if I’m being melodramatic in my own head, or conversely I worry that if I can’t accurately communicate what I’m experiencing, my therapist/ psychiatrist won’t know how bad it is and the treatments prescribed won’t be enough.

[Byelka in reply to hmitchellrose]

I'm glad it's not just me! I'm so used to trying to show the world that I'm doing OK that I have a hard time letting my guard down in therapy. That mixed with guilt because all my life people have told me "it could be worse" or "you should be thankful you have such a good life" etc.

[hmitchellrose in reply to Byelka]

Totally! Plus I think I feel ashamed about opening up, because I know my thoughts are illogical, but I’m still having the thoughts...

[Byelka in reply to hmitchellrose]

Have you ever mentioned this to your therapist? I've been considering it but not sure. If I did say I'm having trouble opening up I'm not sure if that would even help.

[fauxartist]

Sometimes we minimize what we really want to say because we feel we need to project an image of 'I'm okay'....it's just how some of us are. So I would suggest you write down in a journal what your feeling and going through, and any questions you wanted to ask about issues or stuff....and bring that in with you as a guide for yourself to stay focused and on track during your session with your therapist.

[Pagesofwords]

What I would suggest is saying something like this to your therapist: "Recently I've come to the realization that I have a hard time verbalizing how I'm feeling when I am in session because I minimize what I'm experiencing. Would you help me figure out how to best use my time with you?" OR "I think that I minimize what I experience and that makes it hard for me to talk about my problems with you in session. Would you help me work through this?"

When I was in therapy over a long time, my therapist would pin me down on fine points and she'd get me to think about them and help me express my feelings and clarify what was going on. Do you know why you "minimize" what you experience? What does "minimize" mean to you? Maybe it would help you if you were able to answer that question with your therapist and find out how best you can allow yourself NOT to minimize. You are worth the time and effort to fully express yourself and receive feedback from the professional on whatever is troubling you. Best wishes!