I been sober for 2 day's and now am anxious and depressed and want to cry
Am an alcoholic and I use it to numb ... - Anxiety and Depre...
Am an alcoholic and I use it to numb my feeling's
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tamka38
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Congrats on the two days. Have you been going to meetings? That is the support you need right now. I don't know how long you have been drinking, but I can tell you that life is great without it.
I too used alcohol to make myself feel better, I didn't know what was causing my anguish. I got sober and learned about my anxiety and depression, then I worked to fix those problems. Sobriety and mental health treatment has turned my life from hell to contentment and joy.
I don't go to AA meetings I been drinking since 14 year's old my trauma started at the age of 5 until my adult year's my father passed away when I was 8 multiple people in my family and friends molested me and I had multiple relationships with abusive man's life wasn't fair
Hi Tamka38. I sustained similar abuse and have been sober quite some time now. Meetings really help me get out of myself and give me hope as well. It is very normal to be anxious and depressed when we quite drinking. Alcohol is a depressant on the nervous system. However, the once helpful tool turns around and makes us feel worse. I really find meetings helpful. Sending prayers and love to you. Send me a message if you want to chat. (:
Melissa
I knew for a while it was time to stop, but then I hit my bottom. The worst part of drinking was that it made everything worse. It never made a bad time better, only worse. It never made a good time better either. I liked alcohol, it was a part of my life. The problem was that I didn't like me or my life. That changed when I got sober. I worked the steps and my life changed, now I like me and I like my life. I have absolutely no want to drink and I have much more fun than I ever had before.
I have been sober for 6 years, one month, and 3 weeks now. I never imagined this day would come.
Congratulations, as story of success. I think I have hit rock bottom on the alcohol front. I use it to (control) cover my anxiety and depression issues. It’s masking the problem I have been aware of this for sometime but have been reluctant to make the change because when I try to stop the symptoms surge. I know you really didn’t need to hear that but getting it out there at the moment is coming to terms with it for me.
There can be a lot of fear when we give up something that is a part of our lives, no matter how bad that thing really is. I want you to know that you can get past the fear and find a life that is what you want. My first step for AA was also my first step in managing my mental health issues. I still have tough times and bad days, but I can hold my head high and feel my reality. I have an amazing life, one that I never thought would be possible. Please do all that you can to make the changes that you need in your life.
Say I use it to control my symptoms but now that I don’t drink I have to feel my real feelings and deal with all my stress and problems head on
And through all of those things you will grow and life will get better. Be patient as it is a process. Give yourself credit for what you have accomplished so far.
U right and thank you
Well if you think about it, the drink only delayed the stress. I gave up the temporary fix for a more permanent one.
Like what today I feel awful
Go to a meeting, call your sponsor... The AA program helps you answer your own "like whats".
I don’t have a sponsor and don’t go to AA meetings
Just call a AA group near you and ask for help. They will do everything in their power to help you get to a meeting, and much more. My AA program relies on me sharing my experience to help the still suffering alcoholic, people in your area will do the same. They will get you to a meeting and help you feel comfortable, there is so much that they are willing to do to maintain there sobriety, by helping you find yours. The only thing it takes is you wanting to quit drinking and a phone call.
Am done drinking just need some extra support
That is exactly what the AA program is all about. My program changed so much in my life, it is so much more than not drinking. The AA program addresses every issue that we have, the idea is that if I make changes in my life I won't have to drink or use.
Am ready to stop but Everytime stress come I drink I try to drink away all my problems. Right now am anxious depressed want to cry I don't have no friends and the only people who come around is the ones who want to drink and party I feel like am going crazy I hate hangovers
All normal responses to abnormal body ingestion. Our bodies tell us something when do unnatural things to it. Drinking obsessively causes our bodies to respond in ways that get our attention. You are very normal to your response!
Sometimes I feel like am ready to give up but I know is just my depression and anxiety PTSD and plus I have my kids to live for
in reply to tamka38
I used to drink, smoke, and do molly when I was younger to stop my anxiety and depression. I’ve been sober for more than 4 years(since Jan 2014), and I feel great. What helped me the most is anti depressants, eating healthy, and going to the gym.
What is past really doesn't matter, especially if it is bad. Moving forward is the important thing and you can have the future of your dreams. I would encourage you to find an AA group, a good AA group can become the friends and family that won't let you down.
Have u ever been hospitalize for alcohol or mental illness. How long do hangovers last
Yes, I got sober at a 30 day inpatient rehab and I did a few months of intensive outpatient treatment. Hangovers lasted different times for me. It depended on a lot of factors. Now the only hangover that I get is that feeling you get from eating too much Ice Cream.
I hate myself I feel so stupid because I keep drinking and I know am going to get depressed and be anxious and can't sleep and be seeing things I always feel like am out of my body it feels like am bipolar with all my mood swings when I start to drink I can't stop drinking than it get to the point I stay away from people
I know exactly how you feel. The worst part is that I thought feeling like that was normal.
I hated myself so much, I hated my life just as much, and there was no good reason for me to feel that way. That’s what made it even worse.
You seem like a very nice person, I hope that you will find a better path soon.
I used weed the same way. I quit 24 years ago. I can remember the feelings like it was yesterday. While the drug is different I know for sure it was causing the anxiety and depression to be much worse. When I was away from that crutch for a while things got real. What you are feeling is normal early on. Consider AA ( it’s free) or if you have the means to get treatment ( can be done as an outpatient) it seems you have insight so it’s possible you can get through this with self help. Try not to label yourself ( bipolar) as your in the mist of transition. Do what ever it takes to not drink. Forget about tomorrow, live for today and no matter what don’t drink. This is the right decision especially when dealing with anxiety and depression. What your feeling will pass, and you will feel overwhelming happy about yourself for choosing this new path. Just hold on for the miracle to happen
Tamka38: drinking is not your problem. Drinking is just an escape valve(a way of dealing with pressure/releasing stress which is being generated by the REAL problem/s). You may be drinking, as someone else may be smoking, overeating, taking drugs, etc.
Your mind works like this: when you experience an event, your mind will interpret that event("what happened?"), after interpreting that event you will come to a conclusion/meaning of the event/perception of the event("how will this event affect my life?"). You will come to 3 "types" of conclusions: this event will affect you in a positive way, a negative way, or this event won't affect you. If you think that this event won't affect you, you won't feel anything. If you think that this event will affect you in a positive way, you will feel "good emotions/feelings". If you think that this event will affect you in a negative way, you will feel "bad emotions/feelings".
These emotions/feelings serve as a compass to guide you so that you know how you're supposed to act(what should be your next step).
When you don't know why you're feeling the way you're feeling(because you're trying to ignore/resist bad thoughts), you will lose focus. If you don't focus on the root cause of your feelings, you won't find the solution to your main problem. If you feel like you can't make progress/aren't making progress towards solving the root cause of your feelings, your mind will keep generating stress and pain so that you do something about it. But if you keep generating stress and pain, you will reach a point where its "too much to handle"(remember that too much stress and pain are bad to your health, so your mind will do anything to get rid of them), at this point you will enter an "emergency state": a part of your brain called the "amygdala" will shut of the part of your brain called the "prefrontal cortex"(this is the part of your brain that you use to think) so that you stop thinking and you start acting to solve the problem which is generating this stress(this process is called "the Amygdala Hijack").
The thing is: if you didnt use your rational brain(prefrontal cortex) to analyze your feelings, to pay attention to your thoughts, to find out why you are feeling the way that you're feeling, to find a solution and to develop a plan to go from your current situation(your problem) to where you want to go(the solution), when the amygdala shuts down the part of your brain that you use to think and starts telling you to act, you won't be able to do anything(because you don't know what is your problem, the solution, and you haven't developed a plan to go from the problem to the solution). So, unable to do something to change your current situation and still generating stress, your mind which is trying to relieve stress will fall back to known behaviors that you use to relieve stress(in this case drinking alcohol, which temporarily relieves stress). So, what i would suggest is: when you're feeling relaxed(you can ask for help if you want, it's always better when you feel like you can count on someone else) , take a piece of paper, something to take notes, write down what you're feeling, what you're thinking when you're feeling this way. Then analyze why do you feel this way(this will lead you to the root cause of your problem). Once you find out why you're feeling this way and you're completely focused on the problem, you will easily come up with a solution and then you just need an action plan which will take you from your problem to the solution.
The more often that you pay attention to what you're feeling and why you're feeling this way, the faster that you will start to find solutions to your problems. Solving problems will then be your known behavior used to relieve stress, and even when you're highly stressed, instead of relying on alcohol to feel better temporarily, you will go and solve your problem and relieve your stress once and for all.
Remember:
Event(focus)-->Interpretation(what is happening?)-->Meaning/Perception(how will this event affect me?)---> emotion(how should i act?)-->action-->result(what am i trying to achieve?)
PS:
One effective way of dealing with trauma
Traumas are opportunities for growth:
Everytime that you have a bad experience which you can't get out of your mind, you must first understand that your mind is trying to help you. Bad experiences bring your "weak spots" to light(you got hurt because you had a "weakness"). So your mind will constantly remind you of your weak spots so that you reinforce them and in case that the event repeats itself, you don't end up getting hurt again. Once you reinforce your "weak spots", your mind will feel at ease and won't remind you of this event again(and even if it does, you won't feel bad anymore, cause you will know that if the event were to repeat itself, you would be fine this time because you don't have that "weak spot" anymore cause you reinforced it).
Examples: someone takes advantage of you and hurts you -->you start standing up for yourself
you spent a few days without eating when you were a kid because there wasnt any adult to make some food for you and you were in a lot of pain --> you learn how to cook.
etc.
Wow incredible insight, you make it seem so easy. I mean that with all do respect. Thanks for writing this
Thank u I appreciate it all
You stated early on that there are 3 types of conclusions, that may be so for someone without an emotional disorder. With an anxiety disorder I may have several conclusions for the same event. I refer to my anxiety as emotional stew. For every event there are multiple conclusions, then these conclusions act as events with their own multiple conclusions. In the end I have emotional stew and it is rather difficult to separate the carrots from the meat...
Your brain is designed to satisfy your needs. There are physical needs (like eating, resting, going to the bathroom, etc) and mental/psychological needs(like safety/certainty that you'll have everything you need to survive, variety of experiences to increase your skills/knowledge which you can use to improve your quality of life, being in control of your life, etc.). Events can either:
1) Help you satisfy your needs. Examples:
a)someone from your family helps you pay the bills
b)someone from your family cooks dinner
c)you are really tired and you finally come home to rest
2) Make it harder/impossible for you to satisfy your needs. Examples:
a)someone is stealing money from you which you use to buy food/pay the bills
b)you have some people on your way home that are always arguing and they're always carrying guns and they're always shooting at each other
c)someone is eating all the food that you cook before going to work and you leave it on the fridge for when you come home tired from working all day and you just wanna eat and go to sleep.
3) Not affect you. Examples:
a)someone is wearing a green shirt
b)someone who is traveling had a child
c)you saw a man with a beard looking at the ocean
Your job here is not to imagine the million ways an event could go inside your mind, but to figure out how it will happen based on what really is going on outside of you, with real "evidence". Start seeing every event as a "criminal case" in which you need verifiable evidence as proof to solve a crime:
if someone told you that they think they know who robbed the bank vs you seeing a tape of the person who robbed the bank, which one would you use to solve the crime?
if you see someone is angry around you vs if you see them angry and you ask them why(and they tell you that they're going through a really hard time and that they're really frustrated cause they can't do anything about it), which "evidence" would you use to come to a conclusion?
My advice is to go to a gym and force yourself to run. Set a goal of 1-2 miles each day. Workout as hard as you can and eat natural foods. Cut everything negative out of your diet. Get a Vega natural energy drink mix from Whole Foods if you don’t have energy. Drink a lot of water.
sorry only getting back to you. we do lots of things every day. the things we have no choice about like breathing,eating,going to the loo etc... then things we need to do like catch a bus, feed the dog,feed ourselves, pay our bills etc... then there are things we choose to do like eat a slice of cake, smoke a cigarette, wear a pink shirt, have a few drinks,watch tv etc...
if you tick all of the things we do every day that can not cause harm to health,family and friends and home life; there will only be a couple of things left not ticked. those are things that we do every day that are probably not such a good idea.
i suppose that addiction and habit come into the conversation, when is a habit an addiction and when is it going to harm us and those we care about? probably long before we realise. then the question of why comes along, why keep doing something even when we know that it is harming us and everything we cherish? probably because we can. we can do so many things as an adult because we can, we have free will, it's not illegal and it feels good at the time.
then avoidance comes into it. we avoid reality at times. we zone out or we use a crutch to lean on to avoid pain. at times avoidance becomes a lie, denial and deception are established.
quite often it is only in the chaos and demolition that we want the truth. we want answers as to how to stop doing these things, how to get away from the life we made and how to recover mind and body. yet again, truth and advice is often shunned and rejected.
then the fear comes. what if it's too late, what if i fail, what if life is just too bloody hard, what if, what if, what if... it is at this point a choice is made. there are only two choices. 1. to continue. 2. to stop.
then blame comes...
Hi tamka38!
When you ask how long a hangover can last, my wish for you is that you always remember exactly how you feel today! Because I can see it so vividly....how I felt, looked, acted. My sense of fear and foreboding. Issues like insomnia, black-outs & remorse. Yup....it did NOT feel good. But, ya know what, tamka38? Life got waaaaaaaay better !!!
It started with going to meetings & getting a sponsor (someone who has obtained & maintained sobriety on a continuous basis). At first I attended what was called a social meeting. I was new at this, put myself into 30 day treatment under "Rule 25" & was clueless when I came home. But I had an "honest desire to stop drinking". I couldn't quit using my own will power so I found a higher power (I wasn't religious). My HP is a kind & loving friend who loves me unconditionally. I also use my people, who are my AA family.
Lots of great stuff expressed here today. I, too am still sober. I was a mess, drank daily and ended up doing exactly what my parents did while raising me. Alcohol is my "go to" because it is dependable & easy to get. I started drinking as a pre-teen, was introduced to smoking weed at 14 and, at age 15 (almost 16), I fell deeply in love with a 17 year old dope-fiend who knew everything there is to know about narcotics. As I type this I even wonder, "How could a 15 year old know what deep love is?!". Nevertheless, I can still easily identify those feelings I had for him 45 years later! Plus, I was an unsupervised child of 2 alcoholic parents that didn't have a clue and were no different than you or I when it came to alcohol. They had their share of over-the-counter meds, which were given out without discretion in the 60s.
I am and always will be an alcoholic. I just happen to be a recovering one. I go to AA meetings weekly and, between my acceptance of the fact that I'm powerless over that first drink (ALWAYS leads to more) and, knowing that I'm never, ever, ever alone in this, I have been sober since 6/23/93. This June will mark my 25-year sobriety birthday. I have evolved into embracing a couple of other step programs. After being sober for 17 years, I started going to Alanon meetings and just a couple of months ago I began a journey into ACOA - Adult Children of Alcoholics. My life is awesome because I'm sober. I simply keep remembering how I felt during my last 24 hours of using.
Love & Big...no....HUGE HUGS to you! Contact me as much as you would like!
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