New but old

[Agdgrl]

Hi, I deal with ptsd from a really horrible childhood. I have some how been able to, against all odds, achieve some level of success. I have a son and can't help but compare his beautiful, perfect life to what I remember and it is confusing for me right now. I don't know how to help him through this stage of his life cycle.

[Hidden]

I myself suffer from something similar. I'm not sure we want to air our dirty laundry here, but I'm fine with it if you are. I was made to be an adult way too early - maybe age 10-12, where I witnessed my father cheating on my mother (who defended him at the time I told her these things and even got physically abused because of it). My brother and sister experienced support when they argued with him because my Mother finally realized she hated him and it was ok to stick up for her; in fact, she encouraged it. He recently passed away yet my Mother has a much better relationship with my siblings instead of me. I have a child as well, and all I could do was spoil her and never allow her to be treated the way I was treated by both parents. My siblings also don't believe what I had to go through because they don't remember the truth. It's like no one is on my team and it's very difficult at family functions where they can act out and I have to pretend everything is ok and keep my daughter away from them. I'm not sure how old your son is but my daughter is close to the age I was and I find being honest with her has been the best. She loved her Grandparents and I will do nothing to stop that. I had loving grandparents. They are all gone now but since she still has hers (although my husband's seem not to be concerned about getting to know her at all, I still try. I don't want a repeat of history though it's tempting to bad mouth my husband's because of the way they treat me (I don't worship the groud his mother walks on). I expect being blamed for any negative relationships coming forward with his parents and my Mother because it's easier to blame someone than it is to admit you're wrong. Anyway. Feel free to contact me anytime - I'd be happy to discuss anything you're comfortable with. We can exchange information when you're ready.

-grg

[Agdgrl in reply to Hidden]

Mine goes a bit worse than that.

[akablonded]

First of all, I congratulate you and overcoming the things that happened to you in childhood. The scars we bear from so short a period of time can last what seems forever. As to your son -- or any one -- having a perfect life, well, there's no such thing. Even if he's had it less difficult than you did, can you imagine what it's like to be in this 24/7, post-on-social-media everything, "my life is better than yours -- look at my million selfies!" existence? I hope your son has some degree of balance. And I hope the same for you. I think we all are confused with our place these days -- with work, family, friends, "frenemies," etc. That's why a place like this is good: it's safe, filled with others who may have experienced or are experiencing what you are, and have come out the other side the better for it. Take care.