Worried about someone liking me, but I don't even worry about liking myself!

[just_here]

Would anyone like me, I'm a 16-year-old girl worrying if boys would ever like me.......I shouldn't worry about that right well I can't stop doing so everyone ik has a relationship and spends a lot of time with that person and not me I shouldn't worry right well when your trying to make plans with them and they cancel last minute bc they want to be with there gf or bf well what do I do from there get new friends .............idk I try to talk to people but I feel like they think I'm weird or they just don't like me "well that what happences when you don't like you self" so what do I do then.........I guess to be like them get a bf at my church when you turn 16 you can start dating and I have been 16 since January every 1 at church has a bf in a few weeks bc a cute boy or girl has been waiting till they turn 16 to go out sounds like something in the movies right well that how it is in my church but of course no one wants the fat girl with no butt even plus size modules have butts and there supposed to be there to motivate you well me that no matter what shape or size you can be pretty well not for me I have too many self-harm scars to count and I can't do anything about them so what do I do........no one likes the fat depressed anxiety ADHD girl and I have gone so long hating myself I can't think any 1 would like me......so what do I do....worry about school no I'm already fucking strested out about that.....join a clube how can I do that when there are no clubes in my school I just want some 1 to care about me.......just to care about me bc I don't care about myself......but I should love myself before I love or even like some 1 else ..........how can I love myself when I'm such a FUCK up I can't get SHIT right I just can't love myself I can't even look myself in the merria anymore I try eating healthy n try getting to the gym but I always FUCK up and mess up all my work so what do i do.................................