Hurt others: Part of my OCD is that I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Hurt others

movieman04
movieman04

Part of my OCD is that I can't get over hurting others. Sometimes, I didn't even hurt anyone, but I think I did and continue analyzing whether I did or didn't. Other times, I did hurt them (they told me so), and I have a really hard time coping with that. I can't forgive myself, and I think of ways to justify my actions - in this particular instance, I was well-intentioned but at the same time oblivious to others' opinions, and it really upset them (in other words, I thought what I was doing was right, but it wasn't. And in retrospect, I think the end result was right, but the way I went about it was wrong). I am having a really hard time coping with this - do you have any suggestions? Practical suggestions and suggestions on how to reframe my thinking would be much appreciated.

This has been a pattern my whole life. It's not so much that I have a low opinion of myself, because I know I have a lot of strong qualities. It's just that I think everyone else has a low opinion of me, and it gets to be paralyzing sometimes. I think this is why I can't get over it, because it makes me believe that they're right.

Thanks for your help!

3 Replies
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Hidden
Hidden

I think just realizing that we are human and as humans we make mistakes and we do not know everything. We live our lives and learn something each day we live. Our experiences we go through each day are the vehicles that we use to learn so whether they are bad experiences or good experiences there is something to learn from them even if it is I will try not to do that again. When we hurt others if we have the opportunity we apologize and let them know it was not our intention to do so. If it was your intention which may also be the case because you were upset or even if you do not know why you meant to hurt them, it maybe an subconscious thing that you need to deal with, we apologize and let the person know we will not do it again. Take each experience as a life lesson which will make you a better person through time. Forgiveness of others is for yourself, you learn to let go so you can move on and to receive forgiveness is a gift. But whether you receive the gift of forgiveness from those you have hurt or not you forgive yourself so that you can grow and have the wisdom one day to be a blessing to the person who can and will benefit from your wisdom. You are not helping yourselves and you are certainly not helping anyone else by being caught up in this cycle of hurt, blame and unforgiveness. Remove yourself and make a difference in someone’s life.

movieman04
movieman04 in reply to Hidden

Thank you, this is a great helpful. I guess part of the problem is that I always feel like I'm the only one making mistakes. It's almost like a different type of narcissism - where I always feel like the one being attacked and that I don't have a right to get mad at others, if that makes sense

Hidden
Hidden in reply to movieman04

You do have the right to be upset with others but not the right to stay upset. Forgiving others is a must just as forgiving yourself is a must. Everyone makes mistakes, especially those who think they know everything or who think they do not make mistakes. We are human, no matter how educated, how old, how well meaning, we make mistakes. I rely on God(the Bible) to determine whether what is happening is right or wrong. But I have learned to accept whether it was right or wrong without judging the person for the right or wrong, because we all do wrong things and we all have the capacity to do good. You just have to decide how to react to each situation and for me the Bible tells me how to react.

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