Foolish

[blueone]

I’m just lonely. I was at work and got a dumbass Facebook text notification my ex decided to share a picture. He deactivated his account when we started dating and now I guess he’s putting himself back out there?? Whatever. Reason I’m sharing this now is because of how badly the whole thing affected me. I was sitting at my desk, assessing my patient, feeling happy and relaxed compared to the most recent days after the breakup then bam! My stomach dropped, my mouth dried, my mind went blank and I ran to the restroom and threw up. It was embarrassing. I was all over the place after that and just ended up going home and now I’m sitting here alone with all these thoughts running through my mind. I feel trapped! And stupid! My ulcer ruptured the week he dumped me and I was in bed for four days, sobbing my eyes out, feeling sick as a dog. My friend told me he’ll eventually realize what he did and regret it but I gotta say, the guy looks as happy as ever, as if completely unaffected. 😔

Sad part is when I saw the text notification I initially thought he had shared the picture with me and I became genuinely happy..felt extremely foolish when I realized it was just a post and he is in no way thinking about me.

[CactusDan]

Somehow, we are alike. The way you feel things about your ex. How much you feel sick being without them. How lonely you feel after the breakup. The way you expect things to be. How friends react about. The way you see that somehow he is happy without you. It’s the same.

The love we have for them? No one can steal that from us. We know that at some point of our life, when they came back, we will accept them again because that is how much we love them no matter what they have done. But you see, in this world? There are no such things that are sure and definite. We are not sure about them realizing it’s their lost and they will be back on us. We are not sure if that wont happen. It’s okay to grieve. That is so normal. It’s okay not to be okay. Your situation wouldn’t be the same all way round. It’ll change. You can do it. Move forward. Move on. I know how hard it is. But i know you can do it. Love yourself more. As i said, we are not sure they are coming back, at least if they didn’t you’ve already moved on. And somehow you’re getting every step you have to just to be okay. Because i know you will be.

[ohheyitsstacy]

Hey, ahh exes and break ups are the worst and I totally sympathise with you. I went through a break up recently and it still kills me when I run into my ex on the uni campus. I don't know why you guys broke up, but if someone can't treasure you for the wonderful person you are and all your talents, then you are better off without them. Maybe consider taking a social media detox, and really hunker down and look after yourself. Don't go on FB and just rest and do whatever it takes so you feel beautiful, loved and glowing - take a bath, get nails done, get a massage, go shopping, take yourself out on a nice dinner date. Sending you lots and lots of love, and you CAN and WILL get stronger, I believe in you xx

[fauxartist]

I'm sorry your grieving and hurt, loosing someone you are deeply attached too, it's like a death, it's tremendously destructive pain for some of us. It really did take me a couple of years to completely get my act back on track the best I could. But I had to get help. I had to go to group for loss and grief, and another for learning to let go. Everybody grieves differently, everybody's pain is valid, but they all have to go through steps, anger, grief of loss, questioning them self, blame, and all the other stuff. I had the deaths of my two best friends, a friends sons suicide to deal with, not just the loss of my health, bus., and end of my 15 yr. marriage, that's just part of it.....but the thing I found out in therapy...was that I hurt so deeply and feel down so hard was because of my abandonment issues .....yeah.....who knew....I just thought I was depressed.....that too....but I would say...in a way it all helped me to dig deeper into why I would fall so hard, it helped me understand and get better. And turn off your facebook notifications at work and block your ex-, that's for your well being.

[HearYou]

I agree with fauxartist......particularly with Facebook. Why are you even having it available to you at work? No one puts the downside of their lives on Facebook.....so it's like a bad unreal cartoon. More than one mental health professional has stated that if you are feeling down or depressed about your life, scrap Facebook. You are gong to be ok; takes time for our hearts to mend.xx

[iris_r]

I agree regarding the pitfalls of FB or any social media acct. I would’ve felt the sane as you. Sorry for your hurt. I did a very foolish thing recently in a very depressed and lonely state-I checked my ex husband’s (married 14yrs) FB acct and found out who he recent married then went down the rabbit hole of pics and put myself in a worse mental state. I’ve been dealing with this for the last couple days. It’s been horribly debilitating for my self esteem and self care. Even worse...I’ve been divorced for nearly 5 years. Within that time I’ve had unsuccessful, hurtful relationships- doesn’t help. I have reblocked the ex and his wife on FB and hope I’m strong enough going forward to leave it that way. Wishing you strength in healing.