Don't you ever feel like everything is just so empty and you don't exactly know how to explain how it really feels cause their isn't much feeling that comes with it. But is it weird that I found how it feels, how everything around me feels. To me it feels like this empty, dark, silent and heavy feeling and everything is either muffed or completely silent. And my thoughts are so chaotic that I get physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted from trying to keep the thoughts from overflowing. I think that's why I find clarity in music and with being with my friend Caden and in a more serious and depressing note, I also find it in cutting and other methods of self-harm. There is a lot that I must overcome but the emptiness is effecting the air around me and its getting more heavy and denser and sometimes music doesn't help. So I go to the other methods and Caden isn't around anymore, so I only have one option left and it's taking everything I have to not get to the point where I start harming myself again. i keep on telling myself there's another way but I haven't found it yet and I hope that I don't reach the point where I just don't care anymore and do something I may regret.