Too Much

[HardToBreathe]

Be prepared for a post of nothing but complaining, lol. Here it goes!

It all feels like too much. I can't keep up with my life anymore. I feel like I'm on the middle part of a roller coaster and am scared to death but can't get off. I just have to ride it to the end. My daughter is 8 and has autism and I feel like she's regressing. I have a 15mo old who is already in the terrible twos. I'm going back to college online full time and can only do homework at night. But that's also when I need to clean the house. So I'm up till at least 2am. Then I have to get my daughter up at 6am to get ready for school. I'm "engaged" but it ended a long time ago. We have had no physical contact of any kind in almost a year. But I don't blame him. I was overweight before my son and I'm still fat. All I do is eat. Its all i really want to do. My "fiance" works so I can stay home with our son. And that means I am a single mom. I do all the parenting. He can't even handle watching our little boy for 10 mins. I love my children. But I don't get a break. Its all just continuous! Then we moved into a different house and the house is infested with mice and the neighborhood is crap! We have drunk people and druggies, random kids who destroy things or try to get in our house or the crawl space underneath, and homeless people just hanging out in our yard. I want so bad to get away for a while but where would I go? Who would take care of my kids? And at the same time I'd hate to go without them. I enjoy them so much! It's just sometimes they frustrate and exhaust me.

Okay, there's so much more but that's enough for now. Thank you for letting me vent!

[blackcat64013]

Hi HardToBreathe,

I can certainly relate to the feeling you describe. I had it for a while until I did some structured problem solving with my psychologist. This was a really useful strategy for tackling the obstacles, roadblocks and barriers in my life. I found the issues were addressed in a constructive and outcome oriented way to identify a set of solutions.

Problem solving consisted of 6 steps

1. Define the problem - write down the issue(s) being as specific & objective as possible using the 6Ws approach

2. Generate possible solutions - brainstorm all possible ideas & solutions you can think of

3. Evaluate the possible solutions - pick the top 3-5 options then evaluate advantages and disadvantages

4. Decide on an action plan - specify the steps that are required - who when, where etc

5. Implement the action plan

6. Evaluate how effective it was - reflect on the process & outcomes. Does the plan need changing or revising or trying again?

Tips

* Write the plan down - this helps with follow through

* My action plan was a weekly schedule overlaid on a monthly overview - review and plan at the same time each week for the coming day, week or month etc - my time was Sunday night

* Schedule in some "me time" and physical activity as stress busters.

Have you thought about joining an autism support group to help you care for your daughter? Some groups offer respite care to give you a breather.

Wishing you well over this festive season & into the New Year 2018