I hear you Portugal 24. All those feelings you've mentioned? I'm afraid it's all part of depression and anxiety. I am so sorry this is how you are feeling and there's no quick cure is there? Well done however for posting on here and you will definitely get comfort from doing so. You aren't alone in how you feel. Yet it's terribly lonely isn't it? Are you taking meds may I ask? Have you seen a doctor about feeling this way? Forgive my questions...its helpful sometimes to ask. There is help...its just hard to be motivated enough to go for it. This site is amazing and I do hope you get some comfort and hopefully help for how you feel. I also never let my guard down and I never ever let anyone in. To be honest I wrote a post this morning on here and I did let my guard down...just a little yet I'm now thinking of deleting it just bcas I doubt myself alot. Don't allow anyone to use you as a skivvy. Would you feel like this do you think if you weren't low? If the answer is yes...then it's only you that can change that albeit with professional help. I realised I needed to change alot in my life and sadly when we feel down, negativity goes hand in hand with that. People may try and help yet we don't see it. There's also the ones that believe we should simply snap out of it. Hmmm. I shan't say anything to those people as they don't warrant a minutes thought!!!. Take care and if you ever need to vent or rant...theres usually someone around 24/7. You've had alot to deal with by the sounds of it and it also sounds like you've had enough...my advice is to please please seek help if you feel this low. We can only talk to you about our own experiences but honestly....it really helps. Being gay, I can't answer to you personally but my sister is gay and she waited until my father died to tell my mother(I knew) as my mother was so controlling and my father weak...she knew that mum would make dad's life hell on earth. She struggled with her sexuality for a long long time and I told her I didn't care if she was pink with purple spots as long as she was happy. The problem here with you is that you aren't happy in you're everyday life so anything extra mounts up and up and up until you can't breathe...the walls are closing in and you feel almost suffocated. I know that and it's frightening. I do want you to know tho....there is help out there for you. No there's no quick fix and a magic wand but it's there. I know the lack of confidence and not feeling strong enough to say anything. Please please be reassured you will get to a place where you find if nothing else, acceptance to be you. Be proud you posted today ....its not an easy thing to do and you did it. I havent said much to help you here but just know someones generally around if you need a shoulder. Dont suffer in silence anymore. I send you my best wishes. Janie
Hi, just found your email, I must say it does not bother me one bit you are gay, when I lived in Calif. some of my best friends were gay, they were lovely people. I ask you not to be to willing to help people, there are plenty of takers and users out there. As for not being seen, I think that happens to most of us every day people. People are living their own fast lives, I do not see people for the most part when I am out shopping, I do not think people see me, and I could care less. I know who I am and I love myself. Be good to yourself, consider seeing a therapist to help you untangle your self. I can write to you on the private line if you think it would help. I know how you feel about nothing worth living for, depression makes me feel that way, maybe you need an antidepressant. I am here for you, I am sending you strength, love, peace and big Hugs. Sprinkle 1
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I need help. What's the point in living like this 
Does life really have purpose?
What is the purpose of life and why so much suffering?
No purpose in life.
Is there any point to life? 
