Made a big change and feel terrible even though I know it is the best thing for me

[kelliedillon]

I bought a house and moved out of my boyfriend of almost 14 years home this past weekend. Yesterday I couldn't stop crying and had multiple break downs during work and a huge one when I got home. He took me leaving fine but I can't get over how nonchalant and unfeeling he is being. It hurts that he didn't even try to learn more about my depression and anxiety and told me that I am selfish for wanting to fix me. Today I just feel numb and alone.

[Agora1]

kelliedillon, Change is one of the hardest things for an anxious person to accept. Even when it is the best thing for us. Sometimes we rather stay miserable because there are no surprises, we know what to expect each day, more misery. As the seasons change each year, so do we have to accept change in order to find the happiness we so deserve. 14 years is a long time to have been in a home that was his. Now you took that first step forward in buying a home of your own. I think once you feel in control of your life again, you will take the next step forward and that is leaving him behind and moving on with your life.

Reading over your posts from 5 months ago doesn't look like you are leaving behind much except hurt and loneliness. It is better to be lonely by ourselves than have someone around you causing loneliness. Rationally, you know you did the right thing. When others don't understand and want to understand anxiety and depression, there is nothing you can do to convince them otherwise.

You may feel numb and alone for a while, don't let it bring you down. It is a part of the grieving process of what your life could have been. Now you can make that dream come true if you BELIEVE. Positivity and belief in where you are going, will take you there. One step at a time kelliedillon. We are here to support you. We care xx

[kelliedillon in reply to Agora1]

Thank you Agora1, I know that it is the best for me and my daughters because they have suffered also. I know that I will be down for a while but I don't like this feeling of emptiness and loss.

[Agora1 in reply to kelliedillon]

I understand kellie, if there is anything we can do to support or comfort you, please let the forum know. Time will heal that emptiness and loss. xx