Sad and broken

[blackcloud2013]

After the death of my mom, I became a different person. I am so mad and sad that she died. It's been almost 5 years, but it seems like yesterday. I have flashbacks of her during the 7-8 hours before she passed and the minutes immediately following her death. It was the most horrific thing I have ever been through. I have not seen the world the same since. Nothing matters and I see no good in the world we live in. Depression has me feeling like I'm drowning.

[Nina78]

Im sorry for the loss of your mum.it feels like a big part of ur heart has been ripped out. At this time of year we feel it the most.have u talked to anyone how u are feeling .hope u feel better soon .x

[ank2018]

I understand a little what you are going through as I also lost my mother. Actually I lost both of my parents within 4 months of each other and more family earlier that year. I think after the first few I was just numb and it seemed to just be how my year was going. Each was different than the other which made the overall feelings a little different. My father we lost in 2015 right before Thanksgiving, during planning his funeral I found out I was pregnant with my first child and a different feeling set in at that time. Just instant sadness more than before that my child would never get to meet him and same with him. He loved all his grand kids. Then I unexpectedly lost my mother in March of 2016 at that point I just became pretty upset. Now I lost my mother, best friend who was so excited I was finally giving her a grand child. I just couldn't believe it and it made my anxiety way worse than it was. I think I was still able to sort of push it to the side and went through pregnancy and had my daughter and now every day is harder than the next just thinking about them and my mother and wondering things that I never got to ask her about my childhood to compare with my kid. Its an entirely different feeling and I have been very sad about it lately. Just the smallest things will set me off like shows with mothers and their kids or songs I just find myself crying more than I ever did before. Im not sure it will ever get better. I just try and think about the times we had and try and picture what she would have done or said in certain situations to help try and keep her spirit around me. Im sorry you have been going through that feeling for so long and really hope it gets better.

[mz_rachel]

❤️❤️❤️ (hugs)