Alone and giving up on life

My family my in laws and my husband all where the ones who sent me to inpatient bc they all attacked me til I broke dow. This has gone on all my life. I was doing better bc I didn’t have them in my life as much and My husband has his good days and bad. I just feel like I’m going back and forth with all of his emotional and verbal abuse. He knows just what to do to make me feel like I’m at fault for everything. All he does is work he never helps me work and lay in bed and do nothing today I just told him I wanted to sleep a little more. Then he wanted to get intimate I said NO. So I go downstairs to start breakfast and he says

I can do this myself I don’t expect anything from you anymore you are just cold hearted and acting crazy.

This got to me so bad and I’m upstairs crying I don’t want to live like this anymore but I don’t know what is holding me back

On top of this I have no one to talk to and help me thru it I don’t even know y I’m bothering with this site but I needed it out there I give up on trying to make my life better it won’t

[Karmakat]

Hi, i feel bad for you...but is there a reason you stay in a relationship that is mentally abusive, that is just as bad and maybe sometimes worse damaging then physical abuse. You need to look after yourself and your needs and if your husband doesnt stop this you have no control over what he does...only what you do. You choose to be in this situation and far too many people stay in bad relationships ...i was one of them and regret it so much now, i wasted so much of my life being mentally abused and i look back and say to myself why was i so stupid and let them treat me like some poor little waif. They were not worth it, if they were they wouldnt have treated me so bad...nobody deserves this kind of abuse!! Nor should you. As far as i can tell they or he seems to be your biggest problem...

[Rick1on1]

Hi,

Thanks for reaching out. You are in a bad situation and I think the reason you posted here was to get some feedback.

Through my Depression; I have realized that there are 2 types of people in my life:

1 - Those that value just by being there, and

2 - Toxic people. They add no value. They are un-supportive and only critical.

Ever since, I decided to cut those toxic people, I have become stronger and have fantastic relationships with those that matter.

Maybe - it's time to do the same?

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

I am sorry you are going through this. My husband is a bad alcoholic and is very mentally and verbally abusive. When he is good he is really good but that is very far and few between. I am well aware of how alone that can make you feel as well. I told my husband I will not be his wham bam thank you mam. If he expected me to be intimate he would need to give me a reason to want to and being sloppy drunk and trying to be intimate after I’m asleep isn’t cutting it. We have been living as roommates at best. He doesn’t even come home half the time. I focused so hard raising our boys while he was partying that I never made a life for myself. Now he is doing his thing while I sit here alone. I went inpatient from severe panic attacks. He accused me of abandoning him! My first husband was abusive but I was younger and stronger and left his ass. Excuse my language. I don’t know your exact situation but I 100% understand! I swore I would never get divorced again. I feel stuck. Miserable and stuck. Only I’m disabled and can’t afford to live on my own. We just had our 16th anniversary and 18 years together Nov 6th. You know what I got? Yelled at because when I was busting my butt cleaning, laundry, dishes etc. I left water around the sink. I was in pain and sat down to catch my breath before I wiped it and he walked in right then of course. I haven’t done dishes since! If I’m getting fussed at either way why should I do them? It sounds like we are a lot alike. I think it sounds more like he is the cruel heartless one! You are worth it! I want to make it work and I keep sitting here waiting for that time he was nice to happen. So it’s very hard for me to give you advice but I’m here to talk if needed. I do understand and you are not alone. ❤️

[quieturban]

I feel so sorry for you. I'm experiencing something similar. I feel caught up in family issues and I'm close with no one to talk out my issues which is eating me up day by day. Don't know what to do either to move forward. I feel like I helped my husband and when I ask for a little support from him. It's like he's doing me a big favour. He can be verbal with me sometimes too when I try to talk to him and now I stopped talking to him mostly how I'm feeling cuz I'm afraid he going to be mean to me etc. I'm trying hard to make this marriage work and sometimes I think I'm the problem. I know I'm having serious issues right now but I don't kno what to do. Feeling really low. 😭