Worst 3 weeks of my life

[Itsjustmeagain]

3 weeks ago today my husband had a accident and pass away 15 feet from our front door I saw the whole thing happen and I tried to help him and there were emts there with in 3 minutes they just happened to be in area.

I'm trying to stay very busy so I don't have as many flashbacks to all the horrible things I saw that day. But I'm getting so tired,

I'm so afraid if I stop I will spiral into a terrible depression since I had issues before this.

It feels like I can't breath like my air is gone and my chest and arms hurt, even my heart feels pain in it.

I'm not sure I'm strong enough to get through this

[one-love]

I'm a firefighter/EMT so I know exactly what your going through it's always very difficult to lose a loved one but I'm not sure if your a believer or not but Gods got you he has it all under control and he wouldn't give you anything you couldn't handle he loves you and wants the best life for you. I see people on there worst day everyday I'm at work and believe me I carry it with me everyday, my brother passed away not to long ago, so I know your pain I have my good days and my bad days a lot of my anxiety attacks I thought were heart attacks in the beginning because of the physical symptoms I was always having (heart pounding, dizzy, impending doom feeling, breathing difficulty) but after years of having them and talking to doctors and therapists I realize now when I have them they are just anxiety attacks but they can be very scary for sure if you don't know what it is in the beginning. I hate taking RX meds too so it's a double edge sword, I feel like I trade one problem for another when I take the pills the doctors give me and all the side effects that come with them. To be honest I have been using medical marijuana for the last few years and I feel it really helps me and doesn't have near as many bad side effects. I know it might sound crazy but look into it and try a sativa strain it really helps with mood, anxiety and depression. But use a low does if you never tried it before

[one-love]

I will keep u in my prayers as well.

[Pearl67]

Itsjustmeagain,

I am so very, very sorry for your loss!!! I saw my husband code and they eventually got him back, so I can relate on a very small scale. The flashbacks.

You WILLbe okay! But it will take time. Lean on your family and friends, and if you have a Spiritual life--I know there is comfort there.

Sending strength!

[Windy101]

Oh my dear, it sounds like you are in such shock. You have been through a horrible trama no one should have to experience.

Please reach out for professional help. There is no shame in this. You are dealing with things that would make anyone need support.

I'm so very sorry this happened. Life just sucks sometimes. A lot.

For now just keep one foot in front of the other and keep breathing. Try to stay in the moment by foscusing on the colors, sights, sounds, smells, and touches of things around you. What happened is terrible, but it is not happening now. Take some really deep breaths. Lots of deep breaths.

You are still here and your life is going on. Go with it, even if you feel like he**.

Maybe call a hotline in your darkest moments. That's why they're there. They can talk to you in the middle of the night if you want. You can find some numbers and put them in your phone so they are ready when you need them.

Meanwhile, you are not alone! So many good, decent, caring people are right here. You're with friends.

[Hidden]

I'm so very sorry. I can't imagine the pain you're feeling right now. The most important thing is to be gentle with yourself. Surround yourself with loved ones and seek help. It'll help you to hold on in the first few stages of grief. Many therapists have ways to help you deal with the trauma, such as EMDR. Come here and vent whenever you need to. Let the emotions out, bottling them will make the anxiety worse. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Again, I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through. I promise that it will get easier with time. You're in my heart and thoughts.

[kenster1]

hi that's a terrible loss for you even more so witnessing it.the flashbacks may ease in time lets hope they do.i get flashback type things after my son died also even although I wasn't there when it happened.you need all the support you can get just now from family/friends and counsellors.keeping busy is great but don't over do it as it may have adverse affects on you.stay strong.