Starting recovery group but struggling with anxiety and triggers

[bradskarla]

I have dealt with anxiety for about 7 or 8 years - well, that's when it was diagnosed but I've really dealt with it for life.

I was on Celexa for 7 years. Went off about 5 months ago or so because it was causing major memory loss that was affecting my job. I did great for months. Then last week one of my major triggers (a fear of an infestation of bugs in my house) occurred (saw a roach in my house) and it all spiraled out of control again.

I start a Celebrate Recovery class tonight. But I also am still facing a trigger - my husband goes to Vegas on Sunday for a conference and the trigger that caused it all to start 7 years ago was a trip to Vegas that made me phobic about bringing home bedbugs. He is going alone this time. Which I'm fine with. But I know he won't be careful because he's not worried about it.

Any good tools you have used personally to work through the constant string of worry and anxiety about these types of issues? I feel like it won't be really resolved until he goes and comes back and hopefully doesn't bring any visitors with him. In other words, the compulsion will kick in and I'll be okay or it will be even worse. I know there is no guarantee he won't bring them back. We've never had them. I'm just afraid of it.

I feel absolutely stupid that this is the trigger but it is. And I can't change it right now.

I just need tools to get through the moments. I started a supplement last week that's supposed to help but it can take weeks to kick in. I do breathing and listen to music and am learning meditation but I'm still a mess most of the time right now. I start a recovery group tonight because I just can't do this on my own anymore.