Apology.....and some ?s

[Will83]

I apologize guys....my last couple post came f on a dark place I was in. My mind wasn't right and my world was crashing. Took a few days from technology.....had to get away and clear my head. I'm not fully there, my angelic voice is still not come 😞 but I feel a lil bit better. I miss certain things, certain people and certain feelings but I feel I've become numb to the fact that the world is viscous......

Now to my questions-

1-) Those that suffer from anxiety like myself, do you have any other ailments that you're dealing with?

2-) Recently been getting VERY sharp pains at the base of my sternum. Is this cause for alarm in anyone's mind? I have been diagnosed with costochondritis (inflammation of the tissues in and around the sternum) and loss of cervical lordosis (straightening of the cervical spine). Idk if these pains are associated with those, but it seems to come when I lean forward or after eating.

3-) Anyone suffer from PTSD along with anxiety? I feel I'm suffering from both plus depression all at the same time....I was watching a tv show a bit ago and saw a guy who had hanged himself....suddenly my heart started racing, I saw reminder images from the fateful day I found my uncle hanging and I shut down.

4-) Can/Will this community forgive me for the idiotic posts I put up recently. I have just deleted them so I don't remind myself of the state of mind I was in at the time. I can't promise I won't post my gripes but I can try to promise not to post such.....such.....ridiculous statements as those.

[DragonTears]

Hi Will,

I am new to the forum so I haven't seen your earlier posts, but I am totally convinced that nobody on here would judge you for them. It can be very hard to read things or see pics/vids of your bad days, but sometimes it can help too. Looking at your bad days on a good day can be very educational and sometimes give you a new perspective you can try to use on a bad day. I found that looking at stuff I have written on a bad day gave me the insight to what it must be like for people around me, seeing me like that, despairing as they don't know what to do or how to help.

I can't say anything about the sternum condition, other than if you know it to be a problem area, you should check it out with a doctor. It's probably OK, but the combo of the pain and the history would make it a good valid case to go and check out.

I haven't got PTSD as such but I am dealing with a form of it along side my depression. It can be very touch as it becomes like a vicious circle where I try to deal with my depression to have the strength to deal with the past, but that triggers my depression...and on we go...

I am so sorry to hear about your uncle, such a sad sad situation and that you have to carry that with you. Have you ever forgiven your uncle for doing what he did, the decision he made and the effect it has had on you? Or are you still working through that? Are you seeing someone you can talk to? If the documentary had such a profound impact on you, I would guess there are still quite a few triggers left for you to work on and emotional reactions to explore.

Overall I think you seem to have a good portion of brave in you If you made comments you regret, you must have felt guilt and shame....but you came back and gave us another chance to help you and you trusted us to not judge you, that was a risk...and you had the guts to take it. I think that says something about you! let us know how you get on!

[pounding_heart]

We are here for support and to give advise. I've posted a dark post myself and was given some really good advise. Unfortunately it didn't help but I still tried.