Overthinking & Apologizing for Everything

[annmser12]

Does anyone else over analyze ever little thing? Every text, every conversation, just everything. I also have a huge issue with apologizing for things I shouldn't. This is really starting to affect my relationships, and friendships.

[Whyme2020]

I have that allllllllllll of the time. It's so frustrating that I realize I do it and I can't stop

[annmser12 in reply to Whyme2020]

It's SO hard to stop. I keep trying to figure it out.

[Whyme2020 in reply to annmser12]

And it is immediately after I do it I realize it.

[bonkers65 in reply to annmser12]

I do that too. When You catch yourself doing it, try to think about something else. Sometimes when I try to think about something else, I'll tell myself "No you need to think about this so you can fix it.

[annmser12 in reply to bonkers65]

That is a good idea!

[FearIsALiar]

Yup! Are you also a HSP?

[annmser12 in reply to FearIsALiar]

What does HSP mean?

[FearIsALiar in reply to annmser12]

Highly Sensitive Person lol

[Hidden]

Hi annmser! I don’t necessarily overanalyze every conversation but I’ve responded to some other posts it seems to be a more common than you’d think. It must be frustrating to overthink even you’re self aware that you’re doing it but can’t help it sometimes but overthinking it can also be helpful at times.

However, I do know how you feel about apologizing for everything.. even when it’s not necessary, because I do that. It’s almost like a instant reaction and sometimes people will call you out and say “why are you apologizing”. 😭

[Hidden]

"Im sorry I said sorry" lol 😂

Yeah I have had this tendency since I was a kid. I stopped a few years back. I only apologise now if I know there is a valid reason to. The reason I used to do it is because I was afraid of being abandoned and that I had to be perfect in order to keep the ones I love. I was harsh on myself as I felt I dont deserve closeness and I must have done something to reveal my utter worthlessness at some point. I was desperate for approval and reassurance that people were ok with me and wouldnt leave.

I came to realize where all of it came from. I still feel desperate for approval at times but I try ride through the panic now. I am not worth degrading like that. Its not fair to live like that. I hope you can be more accepting of yourself and know that true friends will be accepting of you too and wont demand impossibly high standards from you. 🦋

[FearIsALiar in reply to Hidden]

I apologized for everything as well! But I actually started saying thank you instead.. For example: “I’m sorry I took so long” then I changed it to “Thank you for waiting on me”

[annmser12 in reply to FearIsALiar]

This is a great idea!

[FearIsALiar in reply to annmser12]

I’m hoping it can help someone 😊😊💗

[GoldenMaknae97]

This is literally me!! I do this and I am aware of it but I can’t stop. I over analyze everything and anything and then stress about it. Ugh~ you’re definitely not the only one!

[teen_anxiety]

Me too, I find myself saying sorry over every little thing and multiple times.

[VDC1]

Humans are not adapted to be so socially isolated like we are today, never mind covid. Couples break up over texts, so it’s not trivial at all. It’s not at all abnormal to be paranoid about texts etc. Aside from that, I’m wondering if you could have a fear of abandonment? If you do it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I used to have a real problem with this when I was younger, although I have improved over time.

[annmser12 in reply to VDC1]

You know what, that actually would make a lot of sense. I think I do have a fear of abandonment.

[VDC1 in reply to annmser12]

I get it. In the past, I’ve become paranoid, enraged over being ignored in texts, for the same reason. Sometimes it was actually warranted, mostly it was not. I definitely exhibited all symptoms of bipolar personality disorder, although was not diagnosed as much.

[annmser12 in reply to VDC1]

I'm messaging someone now about Borderline Personality Disorder and it sounds pretty spot on.

[VDC1 in reply to annmser12]

Yeah that’s what I meant, not what I said.

[FearIsALiar in reply to VDC1]

I am the same way..I have a fear of rejection!

[annmser12 in reply to FearIsALiar]

Me too!

[VDC1 in reply to annmser12]

Once my girlfriend partied with my coworkers when I couldn’t make a trip out of town, and she ignored my texts completely and later said she “ left her phone in the car” ( which nobody does) . Can you imagine the paranoia.

[FearIsALiar in reply to VDC1]

I totally get it. My ex cheated on me the majority of our relationship doing long distance 🙃

[FearIsALiar in reply to VDC1]

He would make excuses like that and manipulate me into believing them.

[Hornetguy]

Man do I over think things... I’m 62, Ben through lots of therapy, made much progress over the years but STILL overthinks everything.

I know I can’t fix everything or help everyone.

I know that some things just “are.”

Yet, I’m always trying to understand things that are “un-understandable.” I’m trying to fix broken things in relationships that are not fixable.

It’s the root of my pain for sure.

I’ve been told my whole life I’m hyper sensitive - by multiple people.

It’s hard to ignore, when you get it from all sides! Especially when you respect most of them. How can they ALL be wrong????

It just doesn’t logically follow for me; I must be too sensitive, needy, and over thought.

[annmser12 in reply to Hornetguy]

That is exactly how I feel. I've never been this bad before. This is starting to become rock bottom for me. I'm gonna figure it out though! I'm determined.

[FearIsALiar in reply to annmser12]

You go girl 💪💕

[annmser12 in reply to FearIsALiar]

Trying to find a therapist online that takes insurance is not an easy task. Getting a bit annoyed lol

[FearIsALiar in reply to annmser12]

Totally understand! Try looking on psychologytoday.com

[Hidden in reply to Hornetguy]

Wow man, you muat be a really honest and humble guy to try and examine yourself like that. Thats really great. You seem really genuine 😊

[Hidden]

You are just to sweet and nice.

[annmser12 in reply to Hidden]

People keep telling me that haha. Gets me in trouble sometimes