Hi welcome. Sounds like you're in a bad place. I've been there many times. I suggest a dr. And maybe therapy. If you can't afford it c heck around your area. Even where I live in the totally backwards behind the times south there are free clinics with psychiatrist and therapist. You might have to wait awhile for am appt. Bit thr dinner you go the bettet. Best wishes to you and just get thru one day at a time. It's a hard world out there. Be kind to yourself.
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