Hi I'm new here!

[bransims86]

Hi I'm new. I found a Facebook page called depression the mighty. I enjoyed the vidoes so much, they described how I feel. I was fjrsf diagnosed with manic depression then bi-polar disorder when I was a teen.

[Sarah1111111]

hi welcome to the site. There are quite a few on here who will be able to relate. How are you doing at the moment?

[bransims86 in reply to Sarah1111111]

At the moment I'm ok. Just up getting ready for work with coffee. The last few days I've just been depressed and not wanting to talk to anyone, yesterday I lashed out at someone. I only keep thinking how did I get here. I don't know. It's hard because I stay to myself. People who know who I am I think they take it personally and stay away.

[Sarah1111111 in reply to bransims86]

I think it can creep up on us without us noticing, but it's great you have now as it means you can do something about it. Are you able to apologise and explain to the person you lashed out at? What do you do to change. How you feel? We all have different things that help us get better. Hope you start to feel brighter soon

[bransims86 in reply to Sarah1111111]

I haven't apologize formally but the person has knowledge about my condition and i lashed out because our relationship I feel has exacerbated it and they did some wrong things to me too. I try and hold on to my faith to change. At first I was scared to start this journey of seeking help because i was afraid people would think im suffering from weak faith instead.

[Hidden in reply to bransims86]

Hi,welcome to a global society. I have PTSD which is undercontol...How are you doing if you are on medications and has your diagnosis changed since you were a teen. That's important as medications and diagnoses can change in adulthood. I admire you for realizing not everyone may understand your aloofness.

[bransims86 in reply to Hidden]

Unfortunately I haven't been on meds since then. I would often drink wine and chain smoke as a means of coping, well ignoring the problem really. Trying to just stuff it down. Im attempting to seek help for the first time in over 10 years. Some days I can't function and it's beginning to interfere with my work and homeschooling my kids. Im just coming to the realization I'm not ok. My mind would tell me that I'm not really sick, I'm just using this as an excuse, which is another reason that for the most part I don't talk openly about it. Most people think it's exaggeration or dramatics and sometimes I tell myself that's all it is.