Social Anxiety / Alcohol

A common theme that comes with social anxiety is me acting like a total idiot when I am drunk. It's not really what I do, but what I say that I find so frustrating. I enjoy going out for a drink, or having a party as I rarely socialise anyway. However I always seem to mess it up - alcohol makes me think and say things totally differently however I worry that the people who hear the things I say misunderstand that what I've said is not me, and that under the influence of alcohol I am not 'myself', certainly with the things I say. I feel that I become so anxious in social situations that I go manic and start speaking about myself and awkward topics and I sound so rude and stupid.. either I do not talk at all or I over-talk and say strange / inappropriate things and I find it hard to concentrate on what other people are saying, it makes me feel so self-centred and rude, especially when I'm drunk or extremely anxious.

I always overthink the whole event / evening the next day. I cringe at the things I have said to people and how awkward and annoyed they must feel. I just have so much self-hate and self-obsession it makes me feel like a narcissist. But it's hurting me and i'm just sabotaging myself. I play out the negative scenarios in my head and all my thinking is overpowering and i become even more nervous the next time i see these people / persons because I am convinced that they think and feel the same way about me as I am in my own head. I just become so nervous in social situations that I can't be appropriate and fully myself. I feel that I need to impress, smile constantly and talk about myself and pretend to be interested in other people's conversations because of this social anxiety. I don't want to com across as a self-centred, boisterous, negative and messed up person but I always think that I do. It feels so obvious, I have always felt this way about myself since years and years ago. It's so destructive and then I become confused as to what is the right way to deal with these encounters and after-thoughts. My self-image and personality, the way I come across to others etc. seems to be such a huge part of my anxiety disorders..

[Hidden]

Well you don't know how you come across to others unless you ask them. There is no harm in saying well I was a little drunk when I saw you last - did I say or do anything really silly or out of place? Then take it from there. I get loud when drunk but I am usually a happy drunk thank goodness.

This might come as a revelation but all you need to do when you are in company is to enjoy yourself. You are not responsible for others enjoyment or anything. As long as you don't break any social rules the best and most likeable person is the true you, as you are. Nothing wrong with that.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks very much for your reply! The after thoughts are the worst... social anxiety sucks

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yep it sure does. I would cut down the drinking too if it is causing you problems like this. If you rarely drink then you haven't built up much tolerance to it.

[supersonic002]

Ur not alone - I have social anxiety n panic attacks

Either I self medicate with booze or take a bar of 2mg xanax b4 I can go to a party - it's not as bad as I have been getting older

But it ain't paridise - nobody knows how ppl feel - unless u go thru it - and its genitic also !!!