Being Cactus

[atulbuddy]

Hello, this is a 28yrs man from India. Suffering from depression since 2 years but consulted a psychiatrist only 3 months before. So you all can say I am officially & clinically depressed since last 3 months. But it was tornado type of to say the least. I almost closed my own institute because I was not able to give time to it and immense competition tough times, lost almost ₹1 Lakh in this pursuit of being an entrepreneur. Also I am socially and personally shaken coz of many other reasons all hitting me one after another.

I like to write, so had written an article on how I feel? And what does it meant when you say "I feel like Cactus". So forgive my mistakes & enjoy the article. And yes I need feedbacks. So here we go without any delay...

BEING CACTUS

Yes it’s a weird title for an article. B-e-i-n-g C-a-c-t-u-s. It’s very difficult to express how I am feeling. Few will find it funny, few will find it surprising, many will be shocked, and yes, some will be like “Why Atul… Why???” But yes, it is like that, I feel like a cactus. Now you’ll say why Cactus?

Yes a Cactus. “Ohhh it’s so scarry”, “It has prickles”, “It can hurt”, “and It’s bad”. Bad, well not really. Just so you know, it has prickles to safeguard itself from others. From those merciless animals out there. It’s scary but who made it that way? Or why is it that way? A memory revisit to 9th standard Biology class will tell you it has to be fleshy to retain water, retain water in desert. To retain the spark of life in death full of darkness. It was its fate to be fleshy, to be spooky and to be dangerous. But there is nothing it can do for this. A Cacti is born to give pain in order to live. Hope there could have been some technology to get to know how a cactus feels. I am sure it must be feeling like me. You know what is worst? That feeling when you know you have to hurt your loved ones knowing that’s the last thing you wanna do but you have to do In order to make them un-love you cause they love you much but you know you are not entitled for that. Ya, I know it’s too complex well life also is. Isn’t it?

A Cacti is forever alone but should it be? For many it’s just a decorative material. It is kept to boost the morale of the fashionista inside you. Cactus are meant to make a style statement. Look around, there are many types of Cactuses. Some are short, some are long, some are cylindrical and some are spherical. But howsoever they are, these all are entitled for just one treatment- Keep Safe distance. Distance from friends, distance from neighbors distance from loved ones. And if you’ll not follow this rule, if you’ll try to come closer to a Cacti, you will get pricked by it. You will end up hurting yourself. A Cactus is meant for corner place in your drawing room and it is certainly not meant for your bedroom. The best part is, Cactus knows this. The Cactus knows its fate and that’s why people try to show their care for that. Just to give the Cacti a false hope. When the truth is a Cacti is likeable but not lovable.

519218-3c532daaa05de3314d4025fc659f21b0

I remember those childhood days when I with my father and brother were used to go to test our Sniper Skills with an Air-Gun to a jungle full of trees and yes some Cactus. I remember once I thought just for change lets shoot those Cactuses. Pulled the gun, aimed and “Dhishkiyaoo’n”, nothing happened. Now I focused like Arjun in Mahabharata, again Aimed, pulled the trigger, pellet fired but nothing happened to the Cacti. I repeated this 7 to 8 times, every time the same result. The Cacti didn’t moved by a millimeter. By this bro was Laughing & teasing me that I’m such a bad in shooting. I was so furious that I threw away the Air-Gun and went near the Cacti thumping my feet on ground in frustration. It was then when I noticed there were total 8 holes in the Cacti.

Actually, Cactus also has one more peculiar property that there flesh is pretty soft, so much so that it acts like a shock absorber. That means you can’t know what a Cactus is going through from a distance. To know the real pain of the Cactus you need to come really close to it, which the Cactus never wants you to do cause you’ll get hurt in the process. So whenever and wherever you see a Cacti take care of it. And yes it’s not that bad being a Cactus as it sounds.

[a-lynn]

atulbuddy, I am familiar with that cactus feeling. Keep up with the writing, it helped me through many tough times. I hope you can also find help with your new phsychiatrist.