I woke up from a nap last night and was very upset? Sad? I thought I was upset that my boyfriend could not hang out with me last night. I yelled at him about how he doesn't spend time with me. He looked at me and wondered why I was upset since when he reminded me, we hung out earlier and had lots of fun, I was completely fine with it and happy. I knew I was being irrational. Then my mind quickly turned to the next thing, where my dad isn't responding to any of my weekly texts and may not attend my college graduation. My head wants to spin and swell over the things I cannot control, and I just panicked with crying and hyperventilating for 25 minutes. It was shorter this time. It's been like this at the same time at night after a nap at least once to every other week. When it passed this time, my boyfriend put his hand on my shoulder and said, "you need to find out what is wrong with you."
It seems dark thoughts of guilt and abandonment take hold of me often. Making friends is very difficult for me. I live on my own at a very young age and am self supporting. I did not get along with my father's side of the family. I move out of my mother's due to not having the same religious beliefs. The only two people in my life that can calm me down are myself, my mom, and my boyfriend.
I'm already attending counseling, doing breathing (somewhat) and on 5-htp supplements. I need help. I've done breathing, it helps but I need more. Does anyone take supplements to maintain their panic attacks? Any other coping skills?