On the Anxiety rollercoaster and the ride is almost over.

[Accidental_Anxiety]

Guys.

In the midst of my anxiety I want to update all of you. It will be okay if you let it be okay.

Our minds take everything we think seriously. At one point we believed we were dying, had a serious illness, going crazy, etc. These thoughts ARE scary. They would be to anybody... but other people let them go and we tend to obsess about them and worry and worry some more. This my friends is anxiety and anxiety is indeed a rollercoaster.

Mine started in November 2016. I started feeling lightheaded at work... I was working long shifts and going to school and putting too much pressure on my boyfriend and I to get a new place. I wasn't giving my body the rest it needed. Instead I would just freak out at the symptoms of my tired mind and body. I started feeling anxious and vigilant at work. I would constantly be scanning my surroundings- and then get mad at myself because I was 100% safe and there was no need to be as terrified as I was. I would tell myself I was going crazy and was too embarrassed to tell anyone about my thoughts or struggles. I kept working, kept going to school and shut everyone out. As you can imagine- this made things worse. I finally talked to my boyfriend before I went on a girls trip vacation... I said to him "there's something wrong with me, I'm constantly nervous and scanning my surroundings and making scary situations out of nothing!" I started to bawl my eyes out while sitting on our bathroom floor. He said to me "why didn't you tell me sooner? You're experiencing anxiety" I was so confused by this.. "Anxiety? There's no way. This has to be more than anxiety" I've always heard about anxiety but never knew how serious it was until my experience.

I got back from my girls trip and still was telling myself that it was more than anxiety. That was the night I sent myself into my first panic attack. Oh my goodness. That panic attack was one of the scariest things I'd ever experienced. I felt so hopeless and out of control. After this night I was more anxious than before. I was scared I would face another panic attack, I was scared my nervousness and vigilance symptoms wouldn't go away, I was scared I'd never be myself again. I was scared my life was ruined. This anxiety rolletcoaster was going downhill fast. I spent each following day terrified of my every thought and move. The more terrified I was the more symptoms I got. I experienced numbness, eye twitching, nervous stomach ALL the time, confusion, scary thoughts and some depression. I felt so stuck. But guys it's only been 4 months since I developed that awful, strong anxiety and I am already doing SO much better. And here is why

I did my research. My first book was "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett. This book made me feel understood and not alone. It confirmed that these mystery symptoms I had were, indeed, ANXIETY.

I talked to people. I stopped keeping these scary thoughts and fears and symptoms to myself. I told my boyfriend, my mom & my best friends. I know anxiety isn't a fun topic. It's not like when someone says "what's new?!" You wanna say " oh ya know. Just have generalized anxiety and cry myself to sleep every night. Also I second guess my every move and have irrational thoughts, what's new with you?" (That was supposed to be dramatic and I was trying to be funny- not sure if that came across

I've learned to STOP judging myself. Did I ever want anxiety? No. But I learned to accept it and learn from it. Looking at anxiety as an experience really helps. It's NOT permanent.

Setbacks are normal, and a good sign actually! In order to have a set back you must be moving forward, right?! Maybe you take 2 steps forward and 3 back. Don't get discouraged by this. ITS AN EXPERIENCE! Write down what you've learned from the setback and you'll handle it better next time! Don't rush yourself. You're going to have plenty of setbacks.. I mean come on. You basically freaked out your entire body and mind during all this anxiety none sense- it's only normal for your mind and body to be on edge. Also, we have developed some pretty bad habits that we need to let go of and that takes time!

Patience! Patience! For instance. I had an irrational thought of someone holding a gun one time while I was at work in the morning. It was towards the beginning of my anxiety when I still wasn't sure what was wrong with me, so I came up with this irrational thought to match the intensity of my anxiety. That thought became SO real to me. Although I knew the thought wasn't real or logical. It still held so much power. It terrified me. The fact that I was so terrified by an irrational thought made me embarrassed and judge myself even more... and after I judged myself guess what? The anxiety got STRONGER. Now that I'm almost done with my anxiety rollercoaster ride I can see all the mistakes I've made along the way, but that's ok. You live and you learn. These thoughts still pop up unexpectedly. Having a thought of someone aiming a gun at you out of nowhere is never fun. It still startles me a little... the image kinda gets my stomach. Before I would obsess and freak out but now I just shake it off. My body is just use to that thought and I've given it so much power in the past that it still pops up from habit. But that's ok- no need to judge or linger or give it any power. It's a thought solely built from adrenaline that has no outlet.

Other things that helped...

Ginger pills. Game changer for nauseous stomach and all natural ginger!! I got mine at Meijer for $6.

Diffuser and essential oils. I've got peppermint and lavender and I am in love.

Bubble baths!

I suggest getting the "Audible" app on your phone and downloading some encouraging books. "You 1, Anxiety 0" by Jodi Aman IS AMAZING. She's the one who reads the book in the app. She's been through anxiety and panic and made it out the other side. She has a comforting voice, too! Sometimes I'd play her book while taking a bath and it was so relaxing and made me feel understood.

Headspace! Another app that was helpful and taught me how to meditate. I love it!! It's for beginners and it's free.

Cut back on caffeine! This was SO hard but so worth it.

Good luck you guys.

Don't let anxiety define you. Anxiety is just that annoying clingy ex boyfriend/girlfriend that hangs around.. but just keep ignoring it and it'll get the hint and move on. Remember the more power you give it- the longer it'll hang around. You got this!!!

[Spkleandshine]

You have just described my experience with anxiety to the t. I literally let it get so bad that I had irrational thoughts. Anxiety can take our minds to some undesirable places if we don't have a true understanding of what it is. I'm glad you shared your experience with us. Hope things continue to get better😊

[Accidental_Anxiety in reply to Spkleandshine]

Thank you! Yes anxiety is no fun but It's been a learning experience for sure! I hope things continue to get better for you as well❤️

[melodious]

ive had severe anxiety for over 6 years when I totally broke down. Seen Drs, psych, been hospitalised. Feeling dreadful again, nothing helps. Tried meds , cbt, mindfulness, researching on my own. Nothing works. I,mback I a hopeless pit, I know my symptoms must be caused by a physical illness. I just don,t believe the doctors. I am labelled with anxiety, so that's it. I hate them. I cannot cope any longer with this suffering which I know will end n death anyway. My family has suffered enough too.

[Resilient1]

Wow, this is exactly how I feel. Often times I feel so alone and feel like i'm the only one dealing with this. It's comforting to know Im not alone. My mind goes to scary places! I started therapy last week. I know its going to be a long road, but im ready to be a better version of myself again. Thanks for this!

[Accidental_Anxiety in reply to Resilient1]

Yes you got this!! You are definitely not alone ❤️ Please check out that Jodi Aman book- You, 1 Anxiety 0 on the Audible app. It did wonders for me! Good luck.