Social anxiety. . .

[Needtofigureitout]

I'm 30. I've tried different things to combat my anxiety, but never a forum. I hope to gain some perspective from other peoples experiences and hopefully find a way to be able to manage it. My anxiety at times is crippling. I feel as if I'm drowning in my chest, if that makes any sense? To a point where it becomes overwhelming. I also tend to sweat in particular situations, more so when anxiety is present. I can go from dry, to a full body sweat in an instant. I end up looking like I've done the 100m dash faster than Usain Bolt. The sweating then becomes the problem and I find myself making up ludicrous reasons, as to why I am sweating in front of people. When you are trying to stay calm and go unnoticed and someone asks if your ok, or why you're sweating like that, it makes it 10 times worse. I've left social situations completely or stood outside, weather permitting, to cool down breathe and calm myself down. I'm a father, a son, a brother,a cousin, a friend, a grandson & a partner. I need to rid my mind of this hideous thing. Thanks for reading

[BonnieSue]

You have my sympathy, you really do. I've been where you're talking about a time or two. Your anxiety gauge isn't where it should be, that's for darn sure. I propose you look at some self help ideas and possibly some very mild medication that you can ramp up as needed. I can print here a long list of self help ideas other people have found to help and you could look for a couple that work for you. Then you could consider whether a low dose of some kind of anti-anxiety drug could help you in a situation that would be highly likely to make you get extremely self-conscious and in need of someone else....like now.

[Needtofigureitout in reply to BonnieSue]

Thanks BonnieSue. I've tried Citalapram before, for quite some time. Once it built up in my system, I have to be honest and say yes it worked. But I found myself in some situations that required me to react in a normal defensive way and unable to do so. Sort of like a deer in headlights. It was almost as if my fear switch for survival had been switched off. I've spent quite some time analysing how I was before, during and after on medication. I slowly started placing myself in situations I wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable in and normalised it for myself. Since stopping the citalpram, I've noticed I'm a bit more aggressive, agitated and fiery. It's really difficult finding something to quell me. I'm currently exploring different strains of maurijuana specifically for anxiety. I don't smoke so I'm researching different ways of ingestion. I'm keen to see the self help ideas you and others have used. Also what low dose anxiety drugs do you recommend? I've tried propanalol certain times. I've found it helpful but it's not enough to stop the sweating. 😔

[BonnieSue in reply to Needtofigureitout]

I can't see how you'll be able to ingest mj to fit the timing you'll need it to. But best of luck to you! I'm going to leave the drug recommendations to a doctor because I'm not skilled in that area. I can only guess that in general possibly an antidepressant in a low dose will be helpful but you might not like the side effects and being on 1 all the time jic an occasion pops up that you might need it. That only leaves low dose xanax for immediate on-the-spot use? See? Nothing good comes to me; try a doctor and you'll get better results.

[BonnieSue in reply to BonnieSue]

As requested, here you go:

Some natural remedies and non-drug sources of information are books, videos, and workbooks suggested by other people on this site:

1---"I've found David D. Burns' "Feeling Good" and "When Panic Attacks" to be very helpful."

2---"I am working through the anxiety workbook by Dr David Carbonell and it has helped immensely!!! " His website is anxietycoach.com

3---psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways...talks about ”9 ways to reduce anxiety now”

4---The book “Freedom From Fear” by Neil T. Anderson. Addresses the spiritual aspect of the battle of anxiety with a holistic approach and the peacefulness God gifts to us.

5---Dr. Jonice Webb authored "Running on Empty: Overcome your Childhood Emotional Neglect"

6---Mindfulness has helped many people and is now recommended by doctors in the UK. Here’s just 1 link that explains it’s usefulness: heartwoodrefuge.org/benefit.... Another option of many is called MINDSHIFT. You can download it to your phone from Google Playstore.

7---TRE (Trauma releasing exercises) is something you can learn in a class but you don't have to talk about your problems and once you have learned the technique you can use it at home.

8---UK site for stress, anxiety and depression information: panic attacks: nhs.uk/conditions/stress-an...

9---anxietytipsoftheday.weebly.com

10---"A good book that I came across recently is The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, 6th Edition by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD. You might find this book to be of some help to you, although communicating your thoughts and feelings in a group setting is enormously helpful as well. "

11---“The book DARE, which is about anxiety. It’s a very good book about accepting anxiety and letting go of the fear. The author is Barry Mcdonagh and he also has a YouTube channel and a Facebook support group.”

12---For anxiety: Claire Weekes audio books on iTunes. “Self Help for Your Nerves” is one title that is good. You can see her on YouTube. “The Dr. Claire Weekes book is easy to understand and will help you on your way to recovery through acceptance.” Someone else says: “I like the paradigm of acceptance by Dr. Claire Weekes in Hope and Help for your Nerves. It is the preeminent book of self help for people experiencing anxiety disorders and the depression that accompanies it.”

13---I would also add Don't Panic by Dr. Reid Wilson.

14---Another really good CD and book is the Linden method.

15---How to be good with yourself: self-compassion.org/the-thr...10---Try the meditation app called Headspace. It's done in 10 min. slots once a day.

16---Videos on YouTube by THAT ANXIETY GUY helps with anxiety re: depersonalization/ de-realization states. The Anxiety Guy podcast is currently #1 in the health category on iTunes, and will begin taking you from fear to freedom starting today. Visit anxietyexit.com to subscribe and begin downloading the latest episodes.

17—For UK residents: Have you ever been in touch with the organization called MIND? They offer one to one sessions with a Project Worker free. They also run courses that you can attend free of charge. One of the courses is about anxiety. Their website is mind.org.uk

18---"Go on the Psychology Today site and look for a therapist that specializes in anxiety." Psychology Today has listings with psychiatrists and psychologists and therapists with their pictures and the therapists’ specialties and philosophies, sliding scale fees if they have them, education and insurance accepted and other details they choose to post for you.

19---Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? self-compassion.org/the-thr...

20---“Have you ever listened to Louise Hay on YouTube? Some of the talks help motivate you and hopefully you will feel a positive energy.”

21---“I called one of these online therapist sites. The therapist was really good. It was prestoexperts dot com. Her name was Lori Burke. Definitely a professional and she got me through this awful depression/anxiety morning.” (There is a charge for this service)

22---For meditation look at:

Tara Brach and Chopra Center

23---theworrygames.com/anxiety-f...

24---Anxiety No More by Paul Bywater. A phone app.

25---At Last a Life book by Paul David.

26---The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook

Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance

By: Matthew McKay PhD, Jeffrey Wood PsyD, Jeffrey Brantley MD

A Clear and Effective Approach to Learning DBT Skills

First developed for treating borderline personality disorder, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has proven effective as treatment for a range of other mental health problems, especially for those characterized by overwhelming emotions. Research shows that DBT can improve your ability to handle distress without losing control and acting destructively. In order to make use of these techniques, you need to build skills in four key areas-distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

Source: NewHarbingerPublications

Caution for non-Buddhists: Zen Buddhism inspired aspects of DBT, along with behavioral science and dialectical philosophy. Source: GoodTherapy.com.

[ayako18 in reply to BonnieSue]

oh wow!! so amazing reply, thank you so much for these useful information, it surely helped me a lot!! Thank you!!

[Agora1]

Hi Needtofigureitout, Welcome to the Anxiety Forum. We've all been in your shoes one time or another and yes, it is very uncomfortable when people ask if we are okay. For me, it just adds more stress as well as embarrassment to my situation. As BonnieSue stated, there are a lot of self help ideas that most of us use as well as short term therapy. We hope to support you as we help ourselves in going forward with anxiety. Take care.

[Needtofigureitout in reply to Agora1]

Thank you Agora. I've done gestalt psychotherapy for quite a long time trying to resolve past issues and work out where it all stems from. I haven't done it recently though. At one point we came to an end in therapy. But as you soldier on in life things happen and cracks start to form in what looks like good foundations. I am open to any self help ideas you use to see where it takes me.

[Agora1 in reply to Needtofigureitout]

Hi Needtofigureitout, that is perfectly said in how things happen in life and cracks start to form in what looks like a good foundation. I think that's what is happening to me now.

Over the years, I have tried every modality out there from self help to medication and therapy. Lots of therapy. Once I felt my head was on straight, I choose Meditation and Deep Breathing as the tool I would use to get me through my anxiety. One of the books I have found helpful was Dr. Claire Weekes book which teaches Acceptance of Anxiety.

Accepting anxiety symptoms as just that have helped me immensely in lowering the adrenaline. I listen to Meditation/Deep Breathing tapes both upon awakening as well as before bedtime. It quiets my mind and body. In the afternoon or when I need an escape, I reach for YouTube and watch and listen to an audio meditation and deep breathing for 10 minutes.

This ritual is repeated every single day whether feeling anxious or not. It keeps me in a level mode of calmness so that I'm ready for the next hurl. It's my life, it's who I am now. I wish you well. Hope there are not too many cracks in the foundation