My life has taken an unexpected twist. I was a teenager when I had my first panic attack and some depressive episodes. Those went away. When I was 19, i developed what doctors called clinical depression and anxiety. Panic attracts kept coming, i became suicidal a few times.
Now as a 40 year old, I have been diagnosed with high functioning autism (Asperger). My life's struggles now makes sense. Things that trigger my depression, my lack of coping mechanisms, etc, etc.
I share this, not because I think everyone has an underlying disorder, but that, through all this, I never gave up looking for help. Even though many times I wanted to quit, I kept getting back up and started again.
Don't give up on yourself. Don't be disappointed in yourself. You are unique. You are special. You are worth it.