I don't recognize myself anymore

[ADew95]

I'm depressed and I do not know why and it hurts me worse because I feel like I am being illogical. But I can't shake the feeling. I am anxious over every little thing. Whether it be keeping the house clean, the stupid ass credit card my ex stole that I now owe on, or just plain feelings like giving up on life because I don't feel like I am going anywhere. I have zero motivation which is unlike me because I never give up. Overall, I just feel despair and like I am unloved and it doesn't seem to matter anymore how much anyone tells me I am worth. I feel so down about myself I don't know why I decided to start dating again. I also wish I didn't feel anymore or care because caring means more pain and I just wish I could numb everything. I don't look at myself in the mirror anymore either because I hate myself so much and although I know it's me I am looking at I can't recognize myself as a person. Yup, this all sounds pretty unhealthy but I have no means or access to a shrink.

[MattWantsHelp]

Where do you live? Many churches' pastors are trained therapists. Reach out to one to see if they offer therapy sessions and join one. The best way to remind yourself of your self worth is to be in a community.

YOU ARE WORTH SOMETHING. I'm just a stranger on the Internet and I recognized you exist. Talk it out, seek help. If you aren't a church man, there are plenty of people available to speak to at reddit.com/r/suicidewatch

Don't give up, keep fighting this, and seek out a community center that can help you.

[ADew95 in reply to MattWantsHelp]

Thank you very much for your help

[BonnieSue]

You came here and wrote this message for a reason. That reason is that you know you are somebody that has worth and you want help. You aren't happy with your life right now and you'd like to feel better. Why don't you try the suggestion in the message before this one? Start asking around to see if you can find a person at a church who will counsel you? There are many trained counselors at churches who either don't charge or charge on a sliding scale according to your income or lack thereof. You definitely need counseling and you won't necessarily be expected to join the church or even discuss God at all if you don't want to. That has been my experience. So why not give it a try and you'll likely start to feel better about yourself?

[ADew95 in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you

[Rukia]

I agree that finding a counselor or someone you could talk to is a really good idea that you should absolutely look at seeking out. I don't know you as a person so I can't speak for the best way for you to go about it. If you don't have anxiety to talking to people in person than that is the best way to go even if its not a counselor and just someone you can confide in. If you have problems communicating with people in person than I would suggest finding someone online that you can talk to where it would involve fake names and no judgement.

Sometimes in life we lose our own path and have to find it again and it can be very hard. But you do matter so never give up.

[lex95]

hi, just wanted to let you know that youre not alone. I have been feeling the same way the past couple months. i am here to talk if you need.