Do you have a partner that just doesn't understand.
My AF has been erratic of late due to viral infections,colds and flu.
But husband just gets cross.
Then tries to comfort me.
But he caused more stress than need Thank goodness for
Thank goodness for this site.
Hi Gwyn, I think it is really tough for anyone who hasn't gone through this to totally understand. And men and women so often have TOTALLY different ways of handling stress and worry. It's always good to have friends who listen and this site is full of them for you. Hopefully soon your husband will be more able to help you in the ways that comfort you most. Meanwhile, we are here! Hugs to you!
Some people (like my daughter and my best friend) do get it and understand.
Others just don't get it. Had a nurse say just get a grip and get on with life normally it's only a minor condition not an illness!!!! If only!!!!
This is the second one in a few weeks.
My doctor was told if virus or infection to give antibiotics.
I was also told to get a grip.
Husband isnt dealing with it at all
Sadly he isnt brilliant as he gas bladder cancer treatment.
Right now is in hospital with our daughter whos pregnant.
I ca t look after little one fue to throat infectio .
Faddy is at home with him.
What a mess.
af is a real life changer.
Thanks peter
Oh Gwyn, you do sound as if so much is going on - and as if normally you're a person who likes to be helpful with family rather than having to suffer AF - and colds and flu this time of year. Hugs for feeling better soon.
From the other point of view, my husband who has AF, is either the healthiest person in the world, looking down on other poor mortals with coughs and colds, or practically dying!! Even his doctor says he's a hypochondriac. Except when he's being the world's fittest! I suppose what I'm saying is that the weird nature of AF makes it difficult to know how to respond. And this forum has helped a non-sufferer, me, enormously to understand! I can see people struggling to put what they are going through into words. Would it help your husband to have a look at it? See that you're not the only person trying to explain what's going on and finding it difficult? See other people's fears, anxieties, so many, and then hopes for the future.
The other way this forum has been great is helping me to help husband with life style, diet, stress and so on. He's not a computer person at all (aged 86), but I pass on things a bit. Your post has helped me, Gwyn, too, making me think more how I can be helpful - and not get impatient. I wish you all the best in the world - and your family, Pam
Pam.
Bless you.
Up until my first AF i ran around like a headless. Chicken.
Hubby has been havingtreatment for bladder cancer.
So had hiz own issues.
Its been an awful 12 months.
About to start another round of treatment just as new baby grandaughter is due.
I have picked up every. Virus going which does not help.
Usually we are on top of things.
Im sure he will return to the supportive non frightened man he has always been.
Thankyou for your thoughts.
My other half is supportive, so I'm very lucky. We had a bad patch when he was having radiotherapy and if I had AF I would say nothing so as not to add to his problems and off he would go for another session thinking I was fine instead of worrying.
We are both in much better form these days and I hope this rough sea of yours won't last and you'll come through to calmer waters - and a new grandchild to enjoy.
Opinions range in the family: Don't moan because lots of people younger than you have far worse - which is very true, of course - to it probably isn't really half as bad as I think it is and I'll get used to it.
Thanks
My husband is a wonderful man truly.
He has sat with me. He cannot understand how one min its so quick then bingo. Normal.
He has bladder cancer and has bcg treatment.
About to have another six weeks of this.
He is so cross with the gp for boo booing how bad this virus i had was. Then to boot af reared its head but it was back again normal in a couple of hours.
He just doesn't get it.
Then neither do i.
Hope your husband is doing ok.
Not easy this is it?
Plys a buge thank you. ❤️
Yes, thank you, my husband is doing fine.
No, it isn't easy. Half the trouble with AF (unless it's there all the time) is that you never know when it will happen - or when it will stop.
This week its happend twice for me. But this virus just floored me
Patience understanding and justbeing there
Helps doesn't stop.
Hooe all goes well for you.
My oh my i feel lucky when i hear some of the things put on here.
May be i should count my blessings
Thanks xx
If your husband doesn't understand what is happening to your heart, show him this video...
youtube.com/watch?v=x5oq4Er...
_
Thanks Koll loved it, Lynn.
I have always described AF as my heart dancing a Conga, that my body was never invited to!
Hi Just saw your video. It is amazing that your "dance" is such an accurate depiction of the particular arythmia it is representing. I laughe d so hard, especially like your musical accompanyment. I had had atrial flutter, atrial fibruillation, very slight level 1 heart block,
supraventricular arrythmia, and premature ventricular contractions. My ekg looked like a scary chaotic electrical attack on my heart. No wonder the first gp I saw who did an ekg a while back got so scared I think her hands started shanking-she wanted to send me to the hospital-but I was already seeing a good ep--and now after ablation everything is great. HOWEVEr-- YOUR VIDEO IS SO SPOT ON. What medical advisors helped.?
Hi Gwyn - You've certainly had a lot to contend with lately and I understand totally what you are saying. Both you and your husband are under a lot of pressure at the moment, but let's hope that will soon ease.
You are certainly not alone with your AF as we are all here to offer support, understanding and advice as well as we can. We care about you and know just how draining it can be and the anxiety paroxysmal AF can cause. Always feel free to reach out to us when you feel the need.
Big hug.
Jean
Thanks.
Been a few bad years. But this last one has been a real doozey
It is so hard when you feel alone with AF. I think it is also hard for anyone who has never experienced AF to know how to respond, especially some men, who, as one of the other replies has stated, often have very different ways of dealing with difficult situations. My husband has found it very difficult I know, and at times I felt as if he thought I was making a fuss over nothing. I think it is because once he knew I was on anticoagulants he knew my stroke risk was reduced, so that's ok then.
For me it has definitely been the emotional side of having AF that has been the most difficult to deal with, and lots of TLC has been required for anxiety and fear. I have been very open and honest about this with all my family and friends, as I think talking about it has helped them to understand a little better, and make me feel better too.I have also had counselling, which has helped, as I have been able to talk about all this to someone removed from my family who is there to listen and understand. I really recommend it!
This forum is a lifesaver, as you can know there will be someone out there who understands. You really are not alone. Big hug.
You have written a mirror of how i feel.
63 on saturday. But at times feel abandoned
I know im loved and cared about.
He just loves me not my AF.
But then i totally support him through his bladder cancer treatments.
Im not in competition.
Ireally am not.
Thank you.
This site IS a life saver
I remember saying to my dear hubby 'darling, my heart isn't beating and the people at NHS Direct said to get to hospital immediately, but not to drive myself'. Reply: 'Don't be so silly! Just go to bed for a bit and you'll be fine!'. Oh, and when I was going into labour with our first he said I was just trying to get out of washing up after dinner... It's called denial 
He has never refused. But has put TV on hold
I can 100% connect with what you are saying. I had an afib episode last night brought on by my husband arguing with my teenage son. I'm left in afib and he is just totally unsupportive and just goess off to bed ! I took pip flecainide and it calmed down after an hour. He then asks in the morning how things are !
gwyn my family just keep saying get a grip its not going to kill you!! I know im lucky that its only short bursts of af at the moment but its still worrying and tiring and i have to say i no longer like to be on my own when i have these attacks.my best wishes to you and hubby and for life to improve for you both rich
That would be brilliant and one that I have thought about / wished for many times!!!
You are all just the best.
We dont ask for this.
In many cases get so little support ftom GPs and hospitals.
Yet we support and advise with help and ideas
Tomorrow i am the ripe old age of 63.
So.
Thank you for one of the best birthday presents given freely.
Friendship.
Good days to you all.
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