After seven years of fighting this disease with chemo, radiation, ADT, and abiraterone, I suffer from fatigue, nerve damage and paralysis and nerve pain in my left foot from radiation treatment, as well as depression, and a constant feeling of uncertainty.
However, I am now free to let go of the life, career and societal conformities that defined me before I became sick. I can now pursue a life of playing with my granddaughters, volunteering, writing, painting, drawing, traveling and exploring nature. Ironically, this disease has given me the opportunity to take my life in a new direction.
I know that my prostate cancer will still inflict more pain and ultimately death upon me but I will not spend my time obsessed with this disease in the time I have. I will instead focus as much as I can on embarking on new experiences and ones that I once enjoyed as a young man.
I will continue treatments and all it takes to stay as healthy as I can, but my focus will be on enjoying life to its fullest whenever and wherever possible. This is my promise to myself.
I wish that we all find the joy between the hard times and that we laugh with our friends and family until we can't laugh anymore.
Written by
dmt1121
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Welcome to the club! I changed my life by 180 degrees upon diagnosis. Stopped all working, reduced stress to zero, increased exercise, changed diet and enjoy my life every day. Actually my last six years have been much better than many years before. And we all don’t know, what the future will bring.
Oh - there are so many things. In the morning I have my ☕️ and read newspapers and magazines - I have a subscription with READLY, there you get tons of papers for little more than $ 10,- / month. After that I do my daily exercise: weight lifting, gymnastics running and, in summer, swimming. This takes until noon, so it’s time for lunch. I love working in the garden, this is like meditation for me. And I’m a skipper and in summer I go out with our little motorboat. If there is still time I fill it with more reading, meditating, cooking and eating - I’m vegan and enjoy preparing my meals.
So there are more activities than hours, often I postpone activities in the future, just to make sure, I can stay away from any stress.
Readly sounds interesting but when I looked it up, I saw it only offered magazines. My husband likes reading newspapers and I’d love to eliminate multiple monthly subscriptions.
Thank you for sharing your positive outlook! I find it inspiring when others share thoughts such as yours. Blessings to you on your journey and may you find love and laughter in each day!
I was going down that same road. Lance Armstrong mentions in one of his books, there is the before cancer person and the after cancer person. Many things I might have missed if not for the Dance. Maybe consider looking into BAT.
Great to read about your direction change, each of us is different, but I agree with your new outlook.Life is short, especially for us, I have decided not to spend most of it recouping from treatments that may only add months to my life. QOL is my overriding decision tool.
Like you I have grandkids that keep me very busy, in addition I sail Lasers, a small one person boat, at regattas all over the world with people my age.
have you sought counseling over the course of your disease? I’m in a good spot but still find that PC is always lurking in the background. Best to you!
I have been in therapy on and off during my disease for support and to work through depression, guilt and "wayfinding". It has been helpful in working through my feelings and finding a way forward.
Ultimately, I have had to take breaks in my therapy to allow me to process my emotions and thoughts and consider what will truly make me happy. It has been hard to decide it is okay to leave a profession that I have been in for almost forty years and which has defined me.
Instead of fearing letting go of my former life without knowing what comes next, I now welcome embarking on a new adventure and returning to creative pursuits because I now have clarity about what I want to do.
Thank you for your post. I had recently considered writing a similar post. Obviously, I do not enjoy all the time in Drs waiting rooms, the scans, the labs, and the SE's. But when I stop to take stock, my life post diagnosis is full of enjoyable activities. And, at 67, I'm currently in remission due to ADT and outliving many of my contemporaries who didn't have PC.
I'd write more, but my youngest daughter is coming up today for a visit. We'll catch up, laugh, maybe prepare a vegetarian meal, and then I will begin packing for a trip that my wife and I are leaving on this week. Got to go now to get my walk in before she arrives.
In all seriousness, just when I decide to let myself surrender and fall into a really deep, solid multi-day retreat into existential depression, a post like this comes along.
After being treated for Stage III PCa 14 years ago, I'm now dealing with Stage II rectal cancer. Proving there is nothing new under the sun, I find great comfort in what Seneca the Roman Stoic wrote some two millennia ago: "Illness has actually given many people a new lease on life, the experience of being near death has been their preservation...In getting well you may be escaping some ill health but not death." (Letter 78) Or in short, go for it!
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