Is there hope? I’m dreading asking the question of “how long”…

[cookingwithdad58]

My father was diagnosed in September ‘23 with a PSA in the 900s. It had already metastasized throughout his body in several parts of his bones (ribs, spine, hips, femur and a spot at the base of his skull) but no organs had been affected other than his prostate.

We were hopeful when it began to climb down to 10 by December with hormone therapy and radiation but by the end of February it started to rise and we found out that it had spread to his liver. They wanted to start chemotherapy but weren’t able to start it until April due to low platelet and blood counts and him needing multiple transfusions. He’s only been able to get one dose of. chemo so far.

This week he was complaining of a severe headache and chest pain and we rushed him to the hospital where we found out that he has a fluid in a part of his lung and a met in his brain (2.1 x 1.7 x 2.6 cm)

I’m scared that this means that the end is near and don’t want to ask the doctors how long he might have. Is there any reason to have hope? Or do I need to be realistic at this point.

[Kaliber]

hi cookingwithdad58 …. These kinds of posts are always difficult. First, no one can say when one of our ends will come, not even your doctor can say with great confidence looking ahead. I’m the perfect example of that. My entire medical crew was certain I’d be dead, 54 months ago. They were way wrong. My friend Mark , Urang on this group ) persisted through extreme aPCa trials and tribulations and lived for 23 years with massive aPCa. Very few of us can / will do that.

Your father still has some additional treatment activity in process …. Things will probably hinge on how your fathers body will hold up first and then responds to treatments , how aggressive his cancer is / becomes. … most importantly, he has “ you “ here advocating for him. It’ll most likely take some time to see what lies ahead , at this point.

What’s also important is “ how are you doing “ . Obviously this whole thing is an extreme drain on you, mentally and physically. Your father is a lucky guy to have you here fighting for him, with him. I’ll put you on my “ transfer of merit “ board and send out a big warm fuzzy ehug for both you and your father. There is a group just for caregivers just like you , here on HU …. You might give them a look-see too. I forget the name of the group ( Lupron fog ), maybe Darryl will jump in and say, or you can message Darryl for the name. Hang in there, your father has you at his side helping him. With your help , getting the best care.

❤️❤️❤️

[Tall_Allen]

The goal is giving him as good quality of life as possible. Radiation can help with the brain met and the most painful bone metastases. A bone strengthener may help prevent fractures and spinal compression. He may be able to tolerate an older kind of chemo called Mitoxantrone even if he can't tolerate docetaxel - it may provide pain relief. Discuss pain meds with a pain specialist.

[Hidden]

By Even asking the docs how much time ? Doesn’t mean that They can’t easily answer this … They don’t know . The stats they often give us are dismal .. I’m sorry about your father . My dad had this too. To me , The liver is the most concerning ..Spend as much quality time with him as you can now . Love and compassion rule the day . Be strong and be by his side .. I’m praying for mercy !💔 🙏😔

[j-o-h-n]

Hope is Not a four letter word...... Keep the faith and the hope. Always darkest before the dawn. Think positive. Many Many of our members have been in your Dad's shoes and have stayed around for many years. Remember God (and we) are on your side. As I type this I am saying a prayer for your dear Dad to be around one day and for both of you to cook for me.....in the form of baked Alaska (chocolate chip ice cream (two scoops)). May God bless you both and bless his family and friends.....

j-o-h-n Sunday 04/23/2023 2:54 PM DST

[Kaliber in reply to j-o-h-n]

you ole softie , love ya buddy

❤️❤️❤️

[fmh1]

Sorry to hear about your dad's situation; it's similar to what my cousin John went through just over a year ago --- he had been through so much chemo that his doctor put him in hospice care, no longer able to have a transfusion or additional chemo. Even at that late point and with a very low platelet count, I referred him to the physicians at Care Oncology (CareOncology.com) for any last-minute suggestions and ideas, and they thought that their protocol might give him some more time, so he started right away. Sadly, he only lived another week as it was apparently too litle, too late, but who knows with your father? It's an option for an adjunct -- not primary --- therapy whereby the physicians there are happy to work in concert with your current urologist/medical oncologist.

[Gl448]

Hope for the best, but plan for the unthinkable.

Quality time is good for both your spirits.