It was three years ago today that my wonderful, sweet husband was diagnosed with Stage IV prostate cancer. I can still remember the shock when we heard the news. We thought his diagnosis meant he would die soon. We didn't know at the time that if you respond well to treatment you can live years with this disease. Thankfully, he did respond well and amazingly is still asymptomatic. His issues all have to do with ADT, not the cancer itself.
When my husband was diagnosed in April, 2020 he started ADT (Firmagon) right away. Then he did chemotherapy (Docetaxel) along with an immunotherapy drug as part of a Phase 2 clinical trial. He did infusions of the immunotherapy drug (Opdivo) for 8 months and then was pulled out of the trial because of adverse side effects. He did monthly Firmagon shots until the pill form, Orgovyx, became available and now that is all he takes to manage his prostate cancer. His PSA became undetectable in March, 2021 and has stayed undetectable ever since. Every 3 months when his PSA is checked we always wonder if this is when it will start rising again. In the meantime, we try not to think of prostate cancer too much and just concentrate on living. We are looking forward to traveling again and have two big trips planned this year. I guess I should call them QOL trips.
We've learned a lot in these three years. Not just about prostate cancer but about life and what matters. We always knew things can change in a heartbeat but it was in the abstract and when it happens to you it changes your perspective. We are lucky that we have a lasting love that will see us through this and even though we were close before, this has made our love even deeper. You don’t have to have sex to have intimacy.
I am thankful for this site not only for what we’ve learned about prostate cancer but for the hope I find here. It helps us both to read about those of you who have been living with this 5 years or more. I hope to be able to be posting years from now too.
Written by
Avanat
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What a wonderful post from a loving and caring wife. So much of what you wrote I see reflected in my Wife’s and my relationship since we started this journey. We are just over two years into our journey. Thank you for your uplifting post.
What a beautiful poem! Your CoCo is a lucky lady. I agree with what you said about love. It’s hard times like these which show how important love is. ❤️
Wonderful Post💙 and Congrats I'm coming up on 9 yrs this October and what a ride it's been. You may have noticed that most of my posts are QoL, just trying to enliven/inspire to distract from the ADT Blues
I should have given you credit when I said it was a QOL trip we are taking this year. I love reading your QOL posts and other QOL posts from others (like Kaliber). It’s all about making the most of life. Keep on posting!
Thank you, BW. That was beautiful. Who knew we had such talented poets here? I appreciate you sharing this. When I read it to my husband, he could definitely relate!
Bravo Avanat! At him being asymptomatic and you both successfully keeping intamacy alive . That’s beautiful . His is really the best possible outcome . It’s 8 yrs this month that my wife married me with tubes and a bad dx . Her love has held me here thus far . So now I’m pulling for him another 10 or more ! Let it hide forever from us . The harsh truth is that only 25% of us go into some kind of no signs remission . . Living with love is key to me . 😎👏👏👏
I saw your post about your daughter’s wedding. It looked like a beautiful setting. I’m glad you’re doing well. Thank you for the good wishes. Yes, All You Need is Love….🎶
I'm so glad you posted this! First for the good news of how well your husband is doing! Second for putting into words how your love and intimacy can grow in such unexpected ways. It's almost 4 years for us, and although I would love for us NOT to be on this journey, we have grown in so many ways. My husband has been through so much and I admire him for being strong through all the treatments, keeping his sense of humor, staying positive and hopeful. We too had a great marriage before, but I feel that we now have an agape kind of love. It made me happy to hear that there are others that feel the same.
Wishing you both continued success and many many QOL trips in the future!
Yadifan, Your note is encouraging too. I feel the same way about my husband. I admire his bravery, outlook and so many other things this journey has shown me about him. He too has a great sense of humor and we can always make each other laugh. Besides love I think humor is key too. I wish you many more years too.!
Thank you for sharing your story, it is like ours and I find great encouragement in hearing it. I hope you and your husband are blessed with many more years together.
I was dx with stage 4 cancer in the spring of 2014, with Gods grace and guidance and some good doctors, I’m still here, enjoying every precious day. I tell people in a crazy way, having cancer has been a blessing, it totally changed my focus to what is truly important in life and making the most of every day God blesses me with.
It’s hearing stories like yours that give us hope. I hope you have many more years to enjoy life. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but like you we have found hidden blessings being on this journey.
Thank you for posting another hopeful story of living with Stage IV. We know things can change quickly but we try to enjoy the time we have. I have two left feet so not sure about the dancing but will since and definitely have some wine! 🍷
July 11 will mark 4 years since my docetaxel chemo, and two years on Orgovyx; so far, no detectable PSA though they have identified two metastases on my spine. I understand your and your husband's journey, for our physical relationship has forever changed, but I too am blessed with an amazing, understanding wife of 24 years. We also have eleven wonderful grandchildren, another blessing from God, so I am grateful for every moment!
It’s so encouraging to hear you are going on 7 years. I remember when my husband asked his doctors what his life expectancy was and they said the average for his condition (multiple Mets throughout his skeleton and also lymph nodes) was 4 years. His MO told him some men might go sooner and some may live well beyond that and so far, so good. I wish you many more years!
Thanks for this, Avanat! We are on a similar path, 9 years in after RP and Gleason 9 and still asymptomatic, tho PSA is rising and going into deeper waters with the treatments for the mets on his bones. ADT all that time, but we have found that our love is stronger now. Praying for you both to continue to do well and stay close.
It brings happiness to my heart hearing from all of you advocates for my fellow warriors. Thank you for posting while everything is going smoothly, it shows how special you are to be thinking of us.
Thank you for your letter. My husband has been on firmagon for a year now. I had no idea there was a pill form—no one told us.I, too, am hopeful that my husband has many years and moments to look forward to, and I completely understand what you mean when you say that your love story has been wonderful, but the love has grown even deeper. Bless you both.
Beautiful story and it mirrors my journey so far, with 3 years on from a verbal diagnosis of "you have a 25% chance of living 5 years", but all of these numerical calculations are meadow muffins imo, as in my job as an RN working with severely challenged individuals coming out of large institutions, we were informed 32 years ago, that many people wouldn't live 6 months, but now I look at 85 year old men with cerebral palsy still enjoying life, because in the small homes they now live in, they are surrounded by love and have great motivation to enjoy life to its fullest.
]Dockam, you are so full of this motivation, and as I plan a holiday in Greece this year with my brother and a late summer riding around the NW with my nephew, brother in law and my beautiful wife on my Guzzis and Kawasakis, I have all the motivation needed to keep working to pay for all of this life that I cherish so much.
All of you men who survive and thrive are inspirations, and the partners who support them, such as my lovely wife, deserve medals. Thank you everyone
even though we were close before, this has made our love even deeper. I completely understand this as I am the same with my wife. She has always been the love of my life over the last 40 some years but this disease brings the important things to the forefront. She is my love, my best friend and my way of not losing my mind. As far as sex, there are ways and we have found our way. Find yours.
Thank you. Your post, and the replies, have buoyed my spirits this morning. My wife and I have been married 44 years. At diagnosis the tumor board estimated that I only had 18-24 months left (now at 30 months and in remission, yay!)
Since diagnosis my lovely wife and I have found a renewed love for each other. I hate the cancer, but I feel lucky to have had this opportunity to become closer to the woman I love. We're enjoying our lives, and are reveling in each other, despite the SE's and appointments.
Best wishes for your life together and for the QoL trips you have planned.
2 more years? As the saying goes "he can do that standing on his head"......................that means that he can do 30 years standing on his feet..... Thanks for your post and keep on fighting those little buggers.....
(Tanava means something in Hinduism, Sanskrit, Marathi, Jainism, Prakrit, Hindi).
j-o-h-n <===<<< Senior management is about to spike my spikes....
Lovely uplifting post. My one year anniversary of diagnosis with metastatic PCa was just yesterday and I too am blessed with the support of a loving wife and family that will hopefully carry me through many years with this horrible disease. Wishing you the best 🙏
It's been a year for my husband and he is responding well also! Your post is very encouraging. May he do well for many many more years! ❤️ Enjoy your trips!!!
Thank you Avanat, and ALL of you, for sharing these stories. My husband was Dx'd last November (stage IV, multiple mets, aggressive IDC-P cancer). We will be married 45 years this June. Today he had his first Docetaxel cycle (triplet, started other meds first for work reasons - and has had a wonderful response to ADT and abiraterone). It's been a scary few months, but we are settling in and finding our way. All of these stories are so heartening. They give me strength.
Beautifully put. So glad your husband is responding well. Keep the good attitude and focus on what matters - LIVING. We are all leaving this rock eventually. You are lucky to have each other. May you have many more years of loving one another! Best wishes in the journey.
Very nice words. And so true. It's been just over two years for us. Holding steady for now and hopefully for a long time to come. Focusing on QOL and time spent together. After the initial shock and uncertainty it became quickly clear what was really important in live. Thankful for my hubby of 33 years. Proud of his bravery and positive attitude in fighting this disease. Wishing the best to all warriors.
I just read this post and it was very inspiring. I’m not familiar with the drugs just the drama lol. I’m a nutritionist and have a small practice for women but I’m learning so much from all the men and women that share their stories.
I believe that if anyone can help another, it might just be here. I try to help the men as well as my husband through this site. I’m never sure how much people want a woman to talk about. I’m very happy for you and your husband’s healing
What do you believe specifically helped lower his psa?
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